Happy New Year

Dear Amir,

We just got back from a neighbourhood bbq... a 'small' get together among neighbours around this area celebrating the end of 2007. Papa send us back and off he went again for karaoke(seriously.. right in the middle of the road..haha) and futsal (after bbq??), leaving charcoal-smelling you sound asleep hence giving me some me-time for yet another update for the day.

Well, it's 20 minutes before the year end.

Alhamdulillah, 2007 has been really great for me and our family. Your arrival in July complete us and now with a house to call our own, I cant ask for more. Having said that I hope 2008 will present us with greater things. I know for sure, another dream of mine will be fulfilled come January, insyaAllah.

May we be as healthy and blessed next year.

Hello 2008!

5 months and counting

Dear Amir,

You are now 5 months plus.. and this is your story.

You have outgrown your nitetime 'merengek' phase. Thank God! And simultaneously, your Papa has finally mastered the art of waking up instantenously to prepare your milk at nite just by having me say "Pa, susu". I finally understand the perks of bottlefeeding now. And on top f that you've learned to treasure sleep as much as I do and clicked in extra few hours before waking up in the morning.. so no more wide-eye Amir at 6 am in the morning. All these means I get to enjoy more sleep! Hurrayy!!

Your flavour of the month, ie. favourite person at the moment is Che' Su. She only needs to walk pass without even looking at you to make you smile, chuckle and jump in excitement and anticipation. Seriously, with waddling hands and all.. kesian mama tengok cos you look sooo 'syok sendiri' that way since Che' Su now is superbusy with her 'teenager' stuff like girly gossips, chatting, facebook etc. But when she feels like it and throw you some peek-a-boo.. you'll have the whole world hear how entertaining Che' Su is. Last week, the whole Anakku store in SACC Mall witnessed your record braking giggle, thanks to Che' Su.

Milk intake - you drink more now, more often. I think ever since we changed the nipple with bigger hole, you seem to enjoy feeding more.. duhh! We have been refraining ourselve from feeding you but it's getting tougher now since u will furiously 'munch' and drool if u see anyone eating. Yesterday, when we were in McD, you stared at this guy who was eating..and tried to immitate him. It was really funny but i pity the guy too cos despite smiling and laughing at you, i thk he got a little bit uneasy to enjoy his meal.

Your golek2 skill has improved tremendously. U spend more time on your tummy than you back. Our king size bed is now too small for your adventure. At nite, you command almost the whole area of the bed.. but usually save your feet (and kicking!) for my face and boobs (rasa nak mengamuk je Mama!). The cute thing is, before you fell asleep, you love to snuggle up to me and bury your face on my body. I took that opportunity to re-introduce you to 'the twins' that you use to hate so much. Some thing never change, you still hate them, even more when they dont produce anything anymore. But once you're awake, you'll find your way to be right next to Papa and rub his face almost like an attempt to wake him up. It may be coincident, but to me it seems more like a routine to you. Clever boy!

You look less and less like a baby now.. almost like a small boy now, with spikey hair and steady head.. Since you've grown so much (and it's the Year End Sale), Mama did some major shopping for your next round of clothing.. mainly those for 6-9mths (some fits perfectly though..hmmm)

The best bargain must be the jacket below, cost us only RM 22 (original price RM112) from Mothercare. Macho siot anak mama! (hey, i'm your mom.. allow me to be perasanla ye.)

Ready for 2008 New Year Party???

Hari Raya AidilAdha 2007

Dear Amir,

This year we celebrated raya haji in shah alam. All my siblings were around to celebrate raya together so we took the opportunity to take family pic. It was definitely a family affair, especially since Tok Su Loh and Tok Long's clan also joined us at Tok Pa's house to enjoy Tok Ma's infamous homemade nasi dagang.

The first family photo featuring the 3rd generation - you.

You were curiously looking at us, wondering what's happening..

Centre of attention

You took a liking to Tok Ayoh Loh, after having vomitted all over him

After feasting at Tok Ma's house, we went over to my friend, Aunty Hetz's house. It's been a while since we had such small and laid back do, so we had great time catching up and gossipping.. hehe. Aunty Hetz treated us to nasi minyak and nasi dagang, the Tganu version this time. I enjoyed it thoroughly especially when you were behaving rather well. I also brought over some cupcakes, just to share my newfound enjoyment in baking. It wasnt perfect but i think it's a good way to indulge in baking without overindulging in the end products. Most importantly your Papa is happy that i am really using the oven afterall.

The products of my therapeutic new hobby

Lastly, we went to Aunty Suzy's house in Bangi and again we had tons of food there.. imagine nasi minyak, lontong, soto and nasi dagang (again!). Needless to say, by the time we arrived home, we were so stuffed and tired...and that was our Raya.

Weekend and more

Dear Amir,

Yesterday Selangor cuti. So since i got some time to load photos.. here goes.. your weekend and yesterday in pictures

Last weekend, we went for your Prevenar jab, it's an optional one but we took it anyway.. biasala..paranoid me. Mama also asked about weaning you, doc said wait another mth to be safe la cos he said looking at your growth, should be ok but consequence could be allergy or obesity. OBESITY?? ok.. me, stopping right away. Taknak pisang berbuah dua kali.. hahah

Your first spoon of solid - Tok Ma said you really loved it!

The portion was not much so you resorted to licking the spoon clean. A food lover in the making? Guess not too soon, just a bit more ok dear?

Anyway, doc said you're a one handsome boy. He may be saying this to all his baby boys but that didnt stop to make me kembang.. haha. He said with this kinda look you'll be a celebrity someday. Haha.. From the hospital, we're off to The Gardens. Being broke, the trip was very challenging especially with the year end sale. Anyway, the Xmas deco made it all worth it. I like..

You were really excited looking at the tall decorated trees. They kept you really occupied

Me and you, after I made a fuss about having limited pics together, asyik2 dengan Papa je kan??

Taking a break at the nursery room, the lepak place for the lil dudes and babes - real happening spot

Then on Sunday, Tok Pa belanja seafood at Kuala Selangor. Everyone was there except Uncle Wan. We had A LOT of good food. Cheap good food. The last time we came here was when I crave for seafood six months ago. Mama only managed to take pic of some of the dishes only cos I was busy once all of them arrived.

Your poser uncles and their gfs, Aunty Gja and Aunty Farah.

The sponsors busy at what they do best - Butter Prawn, Lotus Leaf Fried Kerapu, Chilly Crab, Sotong Goreng Tepung, Asparagus Steam Siakap, SweetnSour Lala, Oyster Omelete, Blackpepper 'Buluh Shellfish'

Your Che' Su a.k.a the young, glamorous and over protective bibik

You were the focus point - before the dishes arrived

And here they are, well, the first batch. I was crazy busy later. Haha

This is wat happened to poor little you when were busy stuffing our face. Thanks for cooperating Mir!

Yesterday, I woke up relatively early and feel all domestic so I made your Papa's favourite nasi lemak. Your doc said one way to help delay weaning for you is not to eat in front of you. (Cos when we did, you become all drooly and start munching air..kesian anak mama) So instead of holding you on one side while eating as fast as I can, we spread a duvet across the living room and let you have a ball of time with your toys (yeah right) while we take our time savouring the home made breakfast. You were not happy about it.

There goes my living room. Need to get you a playpen soon

The usual after-breakfast ritual - Amirtime!

Boys gone topless

I also did some experimenting with Tok Pa SLR and produced this..

Kinda cool i think, except for the angle.. hahah..oh well, you're still a cutie nonetheless..

Little leader

Dear Amir,

I came across this just now and suddenly feel like i'm in twilight zone of some sort


This is the pregnancy test which i took that first confirmed that I was pregnant with you. The second line was very vague but I took the picture anyhow with a strong feeling that I am carrying a child and someday this pic will be meaningful.

I took the test during a training session in Equitorial Hotel Bangi. It was a training on discovering self as a leader, as a beginning of the talent pool leadership program I was chosen to go through. The program thought me a lot about myself and it was one of the most important phase in my life so far. What's more important is that I was going through it while carrying you inside me. My fellow program mates joked about you being born a natural leader, having to follow me to attend all the leadership trainings and endured late nites doing the special project required for the program. I hope those are all doas and it will turn out right. In fact, that is the reason why we chose to name you Amir (which means Leader).

I didnt notice this pic then or at the point we chose your name but note the tag with my name on it : THE LEADER IN YOU.
Literally speaking, what's that trying to tell?
Amin

Phobia of the milkmachine

Dear Amir,

Aunty Hetty wrote in her blog about how your friend, Yazid hates the stroller, that really reminded me of my ongoing headache with our breastfeeding struggle and the jealousy that results whenever I see moms nursing their babies, looking so content.. the hunky dory scene.

The case started naturally on the first day of your life. You were brought to me within an hour after you were born complying to the bfeeding-frenly hospital policy. We (mama, Tok Ma, the nurse) try to latch u on but u was very hesitant. Almost like shaking your head to say ‘No!’. Mama was worried. Then the nurse declared “Ala..you got inverted nip…” She then proceeds to pull and tug my shy equipment furiously as if it was a piece of stubborn play-doh. Tok Ma looked at me gave me the “What the toot!” look . I was horrified. And then she decided to start to tonyoh2 your head to my breast. Of course you were unhappy, retreated and gave up. Surprise2, the nurse aka the crazywoman also gave up and said something about my malfunction nips. BLAMING me for the ordeal that SHE caused both of us and Tok Ma. Then she told me to do something about it cos she doesn’t have time to handle me alone. Tok Ma just asked her to leave in fear that she will start playing with your fragile head again. I wanted to scream and immediately lodge a complain then but thought it was just my hormones taking over. Writing about it now I can still feel my blood simmer, so I guess it was a genuine feeling and she deserved to be terminated lah! (Did I mention, she has long finger nails and it was poking your cheeks while she tried to ‘help’ you to my breast). Anyway, that’s that. After the incident, we tried with other nurses which were waaaaaaaaaaay more gentle and professional. They were also unsuccessful and by then you and I (and my nips) were exhausted, physically and emotionally.

Ok it’s clear that the memory of my first attempt to bfeed u still haunt me vividly. We tried and tried again when we got you home later. Needless to say Mama has succumbed to bottle feeding in between the tries, so there goes my Mistake No 1. But what a (new) mom to do? I can’t leave you crying in hunger can I?

Many schools of thoughts shared their tips with me and I followed each and every of them. Bought few gadgets to help ‘enhance’ my equipment. Keep on shoving the malfunction thingy to you. The crazy thing is that you will start to wriggle and cry once it reaches your mouth. So forget about proper latching on la, positioning la.. it is as though you have some sort of phobia of the boobies the moment they came in contact with you. And when I managed to latch on (occasionally, usually when u're half concious) you will suddenly become wide eyed and angry even though you were almost dozing off before it.

My milk supply was another issue. Ironically it came quite fast, unlike some moms who have to wait for it to arrive. Then it deteriorates at a mind-blowing rate, even though I was pumping to keep the supply. I guess it's because the rightful consumer is not working at it on his ownla.. Mama ate all sorts of milk enhancing food and even got the makcik urut to do her stuff. Her diagnosis was.. “takde rezeki.. " Arrghh tensionnya..Here comes my Mistake No 2 : Being depressed and angry at myself for such a disability. Of course, it decreased my milk supply even further.

I also resorted to a great support group consisting of mainly experienced friends and family. Aunty Hetty suggested I see a lactation consultant but I didn’t. And that was Mistake No 3. Till today I just couldn’t understand and cant explained why on earth I did not do it.

Well, anyway Amir, despite all the struggle and failures, you have grown to be a healthy 4 mths old now. I guess that is all that matters. I’m also slowly coming to terms with the fact that I cant breastfeed, probably because I really cant or because I didn’t do all that is necessary (refer Mistake No 3).

Nevertheless, Aunty Hetty recently suggested relactating and having read through articles on this, I think it is possible and wanna give it a try. I’ve started the introduction phase.. something that involves familiarizing you to the (inexistent) nips. Much to my delight, you have outgrown your phobia and beginning to suck (although it doesn’t result in any output cos I’m now all dried up) Sometimes the sucking is followed by a smirk and a let-me-go screams and pushing.. Sometime u smiled and chuckled which made me feel a bit weird. Think you got them confused with a toy/teether now.

This time Mama will try all necessary to make it work. In fact, I’ll set an appointment with the consultant soon. Hope this’ll give us second chance at bfeeding.. and that I wont turn green of jealousy looking at bfeeding moms again.

"Say what??? We're trying again??"

A wedding and two malls

Dear Amir,

It's Monday and Mama is jaded.. heh, wat else is new?

So much for weekend-full of stuff..

On Saturday, we went on a short road trip to Port Dickson to attend a wedding of a relative. It was a convoy of 4 cars which includes your Tok, An, Tok Nek, granduncle and grandauntie, uncles and aunties and your three restless cousins :) It was scorching hot Saturday, not a good day to attend a wedding in PD. Nonetheless, you pulled a happy face and was delighted at every ohh and ahh ppl were making at u. Excited sgt! We noticed that you took a strong liking to Pakcik, probably because he looks a lot like Papa - the much leaner and clean shaven version..haha

After the wedding, your tired and whiney cousins forced the whole convoy to go to the beach at freaking 2.30pm. Mama chose the antisocial route and stayed in the airconditioned car with you cos you were already soundly asleep by then, plus I hate to expose you to the harsh sun and UV. From afar I saw how happy your cousins, especially Abg Aiman, were. Mak Long told me to be prepared for such days in the future :P (the whiney part, not the happy part)

Returning from PD, everyone followed us back to our house. This was the first time our house accomodated that many (hungry) people at once. It was chaotic. Good type of chaos though especially for you cos you were thoroughly entertained by all of them. Your cousins are beginning to find you entertaining too. They covered you with kisses and laughed out loud when they hear you giggle in response. Abg Amirul, who's barely 2 yrs old also played peek-a-boo with you and boy, you were really into it. It was heart-melting scenelah.

Tok Njang and family stayed over and left for Cameron Highland very early in the morning on Sunday. So Sunday was a bright and early day for us. We later went to Bangsar cos Mama got an alumni committee meeting to attend. While waiting, you took a stroll around Bangsar Village and Bangsar Park with Papa. Bangsar was no place for us lah Amir.. everything on sale seems...'out of reach' though Mama almost bought you the cute little denim jeans and Papa was itching on the cute little pyjama sets. You were behaving well through out, making no fuss, sitting happily in your stroller untill Mama and Papa decided to have a quiet time reading our mags in Starbucks - that was when you decided to buat perangai and refused to sit and start blowing bubbles all over my shirt.

Hmm... looking forward to next weekend.. :P

And the 'weaning camp' wins!

Dear Amir,

I finally gave in to the pestering from the "wean-Amir-now" camp.

Must admit that I am very excited myself. After reading numerous websites and parenting books and convinced that it is OK to feed some watery stuff at 4 mths, Mama dengan berbesar hatinya went to get u some vege/fruit puree. My intention to prepare you homecook meal right from the start ended with a purchase of two small Heinz baby food which, by the way, was thoroughly enjoyed by you!

As much as I want to be there for your every single 'firsts' in your childhood, I actually let Tok Ma feed you the first meal, with condition that it is photograhed in countless shots from all angles.. haha. So feed you they did and it was Banana and Pear puree for the record. Tok Pa managed a few good shot of your comot face (pics laterlah).

Tok Ma said you really love it (Well, naturallylah, being a child to two food lovers).You were pulling the spoon in an attempt to feed on your own. And that was even before you discovered a more ergonomic spoon, Tok Ma's finger. Today, I feed you myself, and true enough, it's easier to feed you using my own finger than those baby spoon. You seem to take in more that way anyway. Whatever makes you happylah boy.

Since we start feeding you solid (last Tuesday actually), you tend to sleep better and longer. I hope that's a good sign. No major changes in the poo department too.. so I guess everything is great so far lah.

Uncle Cho and the elevator

Dear Amir,

Yesterday, your Uncle Cho was admitted to SJMC for a minor operation on his knee. Apparently he tore his tendon due to futsal.

Since Tok Ma doesn’t have a back up plan for you (new bibik, long story), she has to drag u along to SJMC for the whole process. Papa and I joined you later at the hospital. I was a bit worried about you because a hospital is never a good place for a baby, especially one who has just recovered from demam and all.

Anyway, you greeted us happily once you saw us. Tok Ma said you haven’t stopped ‘talking’ ever since you reached the hospital. We were guessing that it was because of the several elevator rides that you took. Elevator ride, boy, u really hate it don’t you. We noticed it in Ikano when you took your first ride at hardly 2 mths old. I remembered you were clenching me tight and start smirking when the elevator started moving. Yesterday was a different story though, when we went in the elevator, you started ‘talking’ loudly to everyone around. I think it’s your way of telling that you’re not pleased but in a control-macho way.
It was partly funny and partly embarrassing..hehe (especially when Tok Pa decided to join in, talking in YOUR language.

The procedure took 1.5 hours so we stayed to wait till Uncle Cho is out. He’s doing ok now. Maybe unable to walk about for a few days, and then have to go for physio. So he’ll be in Shah Alam for quite some time. This is a good thing for you cos at the moment, Uncle Cho is your favouritest person in the house. He just needs to be in front of you to make u smile.

Today, Tok Ma is bringing u back to SJMC to discharge Uncle Cho.. such an important little guylah you.. everything, everywhere have to bring along.

Get well soon Uncle Cho!

Of names and world peace

Dear Meme..

Hehe.. Do you know that Tok Ma calls you Emir and insist on calling that name even though your name is spelt Amir? She said it sounds special that way. Special is because she's the only one calling you by that name. Anyway, without realising, I have a petname for you too.. it's Meme.. Papa doesnt like it that much cos it doesnt sound masculine and in fact very manja for a boy.. haha.. yeah, i agree.. but watevala..

On the other hand, Uncle Cho calls u Amirudd pulak.. short of Amiruddin. The thing is, your name is not even Amiruddin to start with. He said, it sound stylish.. yeah right! I shall try to call you Amir Yusoff as much as possible and force everyone to comply to your birth cert name. I read somewhere that rezeki anak is in the name.. so it is kinda crucial i guess. But sometimes Meme suits you lah! (Hope I wont still call u Meme when u are old enough to read this, else, dont sue me!)

Speaking of growing up, last Sunday there was a big rally here in KL organised by this hindu action force. It was reported on local news yesterday and I saw it in horror. It wasnt something that was seriously violent but we're not used to it in Malaysia dear. Not then and not now.. so it was somethingla jugak and since that i'm now a mother who cant help relating every single happenings to her family.

Papa said while playing football, some of the guys were making fun of this event and shared sick stories of things they'll do to those ppl on the rally if they were to be there.. in very gory pg 18 details. Amir, i disapprove of this and listening to the sick stories, i feel really angry. Where do such hatred come from?? And why the generalisation??

Amir dear, when you grow up, there's no guarantee that the world will be a better place. In fact i'll be veryvery glad if things is as it is now. Presently there's a lot of hatred pointed towards us Muslim... Not all of us Muslim attest to and are part of the stupid terrorist attacks. Similarly, nobody is bad simply because some ppl of their race, nationality, religion did something bad. Do not generalise. Do not think reactively. Do not talk without using your brain and heart, it's reflective of what kinda person you are and what sick mind you have, although u mean no harm.

I have lost respect for those guys now, although they were just joking. Am now contemplating on banning Papa to play footie with such sick minds... haha.. ok, that's just me over-reacting.. cant blame me though.

Happy 4th months.. would u like some cereal?

Dear Amir,

Dah 4 bulan dah anak mama...

Perangai pun dah macam-macam.. :P

This mth went by quite fast actually. with fever, exam, balik kampung, short holiday..of course it would. Tonight, while Papa is out playing futsal, and you sleeping soundly next to me, I'm beginning to wonder.. (your mama has an active mind, most of the time full of craps though)

At 4 months now, you are showing more obvious temperament. You chuckle and giggle more often. You're constantly smiling.. last nite you even smile while crying.. i kid you not. how weird is that.. you cry A LOT at night now. And it's the attention seeking cry that just go on and on even if we've picked u up. And if you do decide to sleep, you'll command 1/2 of the kingsize bed, leaving another half for me AND papa to negotiate between us. The good thing is you sleep more during the day, so Tok Ma gets more time for herself, which is sometime spend sleeping with you anyway.

You lost your appetite when u were having fever last week, hence you look 'leaner' now. Tok Pa scolded and accused me of tak bagi cucu dia makan. Not to worry lah Tok Pa, today, you simply doubled your usual intake effortlessly.. which made me think that maybe I should wean you early (4 mths dah ok kan?). I know I'll get full support from Tok Ma if I were to. She probably have the stocks stacked somewhere already...

Weekend fun

Dear Amir,

You're getting better now..alhamdulillah..it's great to see your smiles again!

Mama is now on study break. My exam, my second last paper for CIMA will be on this coming Wed. I guess I should listen to Tok Pa when he told me to finish up the course before the juniorss arrive, else it would just be another unfinished business. Well, here you are and here I am trying to prove him wrong..haha..

By the way, last weekend was great fun. We just spent time lazing around the house, entertaining your every demand, while catching up with some house chores. Oh, your papa cooked bfast for me on Saturday.. that's very rare, so it's worth a mention.. :)

And he bathe you for the first time too.. talk about a domesticated weekend for him huh?Pics are worth a thousand words, so here goes..

Good morning sunshine... bright and early!

Your over-excited mom and you just before 'THE' bath

Papa's first try - your longest bath ever! Luckily you had your favourite 'snack' with you.

And then on to the proper meal - Papa's finger for breakfast, yum!

Fun time!

A cheeky boy attempting at distracting me away from the books.. he doesnt have to try very hard huh? How can I resist such jelingan manja.

Zombie's mind..

Dear Amir,

A lot has happened during the last 24 hours. Or at least it seems like it.
Your flu and cough still hasnt subside but you are in a much better state now. Hence, my zombie face is back in office, again skipping lunch so that i can organise my thoughts and be here with you.

So yeah, the last 24 hours saw me spending time alone with you and your cough n sneeze. In between you short naps, i contemplate on the followings
1. write a resignation letter to my current employer
2. fax that letter out
3. vacum the house
4. pump my long-lost bmilk
5. change the layout of this blog
6. bake cupcakes
7. finish my work assignment and email boss
8. study for my exam next week (hahahahhahahahahahahahaha...)

Basically many things occured yesterday.. but i guess only in my brain. The rest of my day was actually mostly spent carrying you around and holding you tight while you sleep (hence inviting all the random thoughts in my head). Although i tried to keep it calm earlier, i guess the truth prevailed. I'm worried sick looking at you in this state my dear. Berair mata Amir, berairla mata mama, Amir nangis, mama nangis lagi kuat... God! it's so consuming..

The most consuming part is the familiar guilty feeling again. Whenever you fell sick, and this is only the 2nd time (the first was mild demam cos of the jab, but i'm counting that in) i will feel this huge pang of guilt for being a major cause to it simply cos i did not bfeed you hence provide u the necessary antibodi. Everyone who have seen my attempts knows how i've tried, and it's definitely not a concious decision of mine not to breastfeed, but it feels that I am at fault anyway.

Oh well Amir.. I think this is one of those thing that will last forever just like the stretch marks you gave me :)

Penang

Dear Amir,

You're sick today so I took leave and stay home. Poor you caught Tok Ma's bug since last nite so you were sneezing and coughing away when i came back home yesterday. Kesiannya, I feel really helpless hearing your heavy breath..
but doc said everthing is ok and with your medication you should be fine in no time. In fact you dont behave like a sick baby at all, you were smiling and chuckling when the doctor examine you, in fact you too were listening attentively when doc were explaining the prescription.. even he cant concentrate looking at ur curious little face.. hehe

Since you're sound asleep now, here's the story on Penang...
Well, first off, we went to Penang by ferry.. much to your Papa's delight. He was brimming with happiness when I agreed to take the ferry instead of the bridge. I thought u are too small to know the difference and enjoy it, little did i know that there's another 'little boy' in the car who will be amused by the ferry ride.. heheheh.. well, anyway, i'm glad we took the ride cos the bridge's traffic was bad and it made your Papa's day :)

Being in Penang is always nostalgic. Mama spend 18 mths of my life as a student there.. with some of my dearest friends (who are breeding some of YOUR friends now), doing some of the silliest and most pathetic thing on earth. I'll share it with you when you're much older, perhaps in another entry. Your papa also spend some part of his youth (haha) here.. so you know how the ride from the jetty to town to bt feringghi went.. loaded with description of things we use to do here n there.. you, on the other hand, was so peacefully asleep.

Upon arrival at the hotel, Mama went camera crazy upon seeing the XXXL family bed. You too were very joyful.. chuckling non stop when i lay you on the bed.. (Thanks for inviting us to share the huge room Tok Pa!) And the chuckling and fooling around continues with your Papa.. but immediately stop when we brought u down to the beach. Guess u're too young for the beach or the poolside.. i read somewhere that the UV would be harsh on your skin too, so we kept it brief and afterall, you're not at all pleased with the outdoor anyway.

Back in the hotel room, your mood took a 360 degrees turn.. we gave u a good warm bath and off to slumberland you went..i guess that was penang for you cos for the rest of the trip it was just us eating and you sleeping..haha..talk about a great holiday. Actually, we left u to Tok Ma the next day and went on a little date on our own (more like rushing around 2 shopping malls looking for your Papa's sandal - to no avail)

The journey back was really tiring.. cos we only left Penang at 3.30pm, after a very heavy buffet lunch, courtesy of Tok Pa and only arrive home at 9pm. You were easily irritated along the way, cant blame u, the weather was hot and i think you've had enough.

Balik Kampung

We had an eventful weekend last week, didn’t we? Of course you wont remember anything but I think you enjoyed yourself too. It was your first balik kampong trip and our first holiday as a family of three in Penang.

The journey back to Alor Setar on Deepavali morning was a cool and peaceful one. We only stopped halfway at Sg Perak to change diapers and eat and the rest of the way.. you were sound asleep. Good boy!

An (aka Wan) was your favorite person in Alor Setar. By the way, An is the name your cousins gave Wan well before you arrive, simply because they cant pronounce Wan correctly. He took you for a walk around the house compound every morning and attempted to talk to you in ‘bahasa KL’ whenever he catch you around the house. You were equivalently chatty with him. You guys made hilarious conversations. I promise I’ll get Papa to teach you some utara words when you grow older but it wont compare to the Kelantanese vocab u’ll master soon lah :)

Being back in kampong during ‘off-peak’ season like this have it perks.. you get their full attention all right. Well first, we have Tok’s notorious pasembot, then home made lepat pisang which Tok Nek prepared (sooo yummy.. I’m hooked) and our room were equipped with two fans ok, in place for the aircon, in case my putera lilin cant stand the heat. But I guess it wasn’t that bad la, u slept well like usual although u were nagging occasionally. Speaking of nags, yeap, that’s your new skill, with very serious frowning face on, mulut muncung2, you will nag on top of your voice, as though mengadu about something that isn’t right.

Mama also had a funny experience on my own. For the first time ever, I got to bathe you in the conventional baby bath tub while sitting on the oh-so-small stool! I think the current practice of bathing u in your ergonomically designed tub while standing has spoilt me lah. Anyway, you had fun cos you get to play with more water and sit in the tub longer (while mama struggle to ensure that you are clean while not trying to drown you).

Papa brought back his camera to take pics of you and the Alor Setar clans but good food and too much lazing around got the better of him.. sigh. Anyway, An, Tok and Tok Nek will be coming end of this mth to stay at our new hse, probably till Raya Haji. Mama nervous jugak ni, but I think I have ample time to learn your Tok Ma’s nasi beriyani that An has requested again and again..

I’ll write about our holiday tomorrowlah.. need to worry about the nasi beriyani jap.

I'm (going to be) home dear!

Dear Amir,

Mama's at work now, not going for lunch cos i tot i'll just catch a nap. U've been up quite a lot at nite lately. The last 2 days, u weren't sleeping at all. You mumbled and whined throughout the nite. I wish I know what it is that you want. But after feeding, burping, changing and attempting to put u to bed with all sorts of possible ways (ie singing, craddling, rocking, carrying you around the room) at 2.45 am, i guess i can only say that this is your way of getting back to me for leaving you on extended hours at Tok Ma's offlate.

I've made up my mind dear. I'm going to quit my work soon!I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I'm not doing this simply out of guilt for not being there for you, cos this decision wont stand that way. I've been meaning to do this before I even met your Papa. Finally, I get to work on my own and having you around makes it more of an obvious and confirmed choice.

It's going to be over soon. I cant wait for the life that i've been dreaming for all these while. Thank you for putting up with my lack of dicipline. I'm sorry i brought back work and spend time on it rather than with you at nite. I'm sorry I got too engrossed in my work and only come back when u're already asleep. I'm sorry that sometimes I bore you (and papa) by talking about my work with papa when I came back.

I hope things will get better from here both for you and me.

A happier mom and a happier baby!

1st quarter

Dear Amir,

You're 3 mths old now, well plus a few more days today actually.

Last nite, while cuddling you in my arms, i cant help noticing how big you have grown.. you're almost like a different person than the little guy who arrived 3 months ago. I'm not sure how much you weigh now but exactly a mth back you were a whopping 6kg bundle!. U must be double your birth weight by now. You've also grown in height and hence outgrown most of your rompers. (Giving me good excuse to buy more!)

You have also lost most of your hair and have grown new ones. With a bald head, most say you look even more like Uncle Yeh now. Tok Ma said you've turned darker, hmm.. I dont think you've been out and about that much. Anyway, you've been going without your mitten for few weeks already now. Your hands are your biggest fascination and they mostly spend their time in your mouth. Your little feet, are not as little anymore cos most of your bootees are too small for them now.

Your 'vocab' has also improved tremendously and you also chuckle occasionally. Yesterday, u let out a loud giggle when i tickled your armpit. It made my day. I wanted to tickle you some more but papa was against it. Tak sportingla papa ni :P

Personalitywise, you are getting more talkative when u're up to it. But if you're not, you wont even look at us no matter how we sing, call ur name, wave your toys.. That's wat Tok Ma call, 'the sombong mode'. You've also grown strong preferance for Papa and Tok Ma. As for me, i dont know if it's inferiority complex but i think you like them more. You will turn to papa intuitively when it's time to play but will show me the muka kesian only when u're hungry and tired. It's ok dear cos i like gazing at u when i feed u and put u to bed. One thing for sure, u somehow has strong rejection towards Tok Pa and his brand new car. We tried telling Tok Pa that his voice volume may be the reason why but i guess he enjoys the privilege of being the 'scary' one cos then he can bully you all he wants. Yes, making u smirk and cry seems more enjoyable for him than making u smile.

Oh well Amir, I can go on and on about you. But i'll just end here (heh..finally) by saying no matter what, we love you as much and more as the days go by.

First raya

Dear Amir,

Selamat hari raya dear!
What a great raya it was kan? Not so much of the raya itself but the fact that i get to spend the whole week, well almost, with my dear son.

We didnt manage to go back to neither Kedah nor Kelantan this year. Partly due to the fact that papa is still not confident to bring you along on a long roadtrip and yeah, we sort of facing a financial constraint now - blame your papa n mama for underestimating the financial requirement of moving house and me for giving in to the temptation of buying new clothes for you each time we go out. But Amir, let me be clear here, I'm still feeling guilty the fact that we couldnt make it back to Alor Setar cos it's been a year since the last trip there. Although Tok keep on saying that it's ok and they agree that u're kinda too small to brave the trip..especially with the ongoing road widening project.. i know, being a parent myself now, nothing is more special than to have your family around during Raya. So Amir, mama does not approve of this no matter what excuse you have when you grow up later k?

Now that we have got that out of the way..hehe.. Raya in Shah Alam with you around is definitely different. Firstly, I didnt get to go for Raya prayers cos I have u to take care. Then dressing u up is more important that finding a matching lipstick for me. And of course, duit raya is just not about giving cos I've a little fund raiser now.. hehe.. dont worry, it's all your we didnt touch it no matter how bad things are now.

On first day Raya, we spent the whole day in Tok Ma's house. You went from a person's arm to another giving mama ample opportunity for a plate of nasi dagang and another..:) Then on second day, we went to Seremban to visit Tok Che' Som, who has not even met your papa yet cos we havent visited her for that long! We also dropped by papa's fren house and they were too quite surprise to see you cos they didnt know I was heavily pregnant some 5 mths ago when they met me.. hmmm...
Tok Ma and Tok Pa left for Kelantan on the third day. Tok Ma was really hesitant when she kissed you goodbye the nite before. The same day, for the first time, mama get to test drive the kitchen for a real cookout to serve 7 of papa's frens. Most of them said you looked like papa every bit except for the complexion. And they were quite amused when you decided to join in the conversation with your own language..

Next day we visited papa's frens and The Gardens. We bought you a toy there cos mama cant resist the temptation of being in the huge baby section in Robinsons.

Finally, on the fifth day, Auntie Hetz travelled all the way alone with Yazid to visit us. I'm so impressed cos i dont think i can handle it if it were me. especially when i've been so pampered and driven around by papa ever since i got pregnant with you.

So that was your first Raya. The next day, Tok Pa and Tok Ma got stranded in Kuantan on their way back from Kelantan due to heavy traffic while your mama got to return to work. So, with heavy hearts, i left you with bibik and Uncle Wan. Papa joined them later to look after you. There's no describing how uneasy it made me feel at work. Especially having spent the whole week looking after you for 24 hrs a day and then having to leave u home without Tok Ma, without your bath yet.. it almost made me cry but I dont want to offend bibik and cause other things..

TURNing 27

Dear Amir,

It's my 27th bday today and this one this year will definitely be one of the memorable one.

Firstly I have you now, my constant reminder of how blessed I am.
Secondly, you turned on your tummy on your own late last nite.. You did it once with much fuss, then when i turned you around, u did it again instantly! Tok Ma said you never did it before, so it's official, it's your first and I was there to witness it :)

And lastly, me and papa has never been this broke before, so much so that we couldnt afford a decent celebration.
So I guess we'll end up lepaking at home and watch you perform ur newly acquired acrobatic skill. I'm not complaining though.. and dear, thanks for the birthday 'gift'.

And the champion has landed! Pic taken moments after you've turned for the 1st time.

Merdeka!

Dear Amir,

We dont mean to use you as a mean of entertainment especially while u're unconcious.. but it's sooooo irressistable.. The flag has been attached to your cot since u arrived, thanks to Papa. Anyway, the red/white contrast is good for your brain development right? :)

It's our 40th day today, so it's a real Merdeka celebration (for me especially!)

I prepared a bbq feast for everyone and since Uncle Cho was also around it was a really good get-together. No pics tho cos we're busy eating.

Happy Merdeka everyone!

p/s : There is no doubting that u're Papa's boy in these pics... sebijik!

I'm out and about

Dear Amir,

We went on your first social outing today. It was to our favourite place, The Curve. It may be familiar to you cos this is where i spend most of my pregnant weekends, going in and out baby stores there.

It was Tok Pa and Tok Ma anniversary actually, so it was a whole family outing. Tok Ma was not really sure at first cos you and I havent passed the 40 days mark yet, but we end up spending the whole day over there jugak, browsing around both Ikano and Ikea!

You were cooperative though and by the look of it u seems to enjoy the pram ride.. well u slept most of the time and woke up only for feeds. Speaking of feeds, Che' Su got so excited about using the nursing room.. dia yg lebih2 nak tukar diapersla apa la..

Taking a break with Papa

Hey smiley

Dear Amir

We waited anxiously and finally the time has come. U smiled today, I mean conciously.

I didnt manage to get a pic of that though. But i caught it, there were no stopping u once u've start actually. But my hp were out of batt at that instance.

But....I do have a series of faces u made later on in your sleep.

Full moon..

Dear Amir,

You turned 1 mth old today.
And while i'm trying to do this entry, u refused to sleep :(

Anyway, u weigh a healthy 4.5kg now and is 53cm tall..actually that was last week..so u could be bigger now. We still havent managed to shave ur hair, so with a size like that and a head full of hair, u looked like a big boy instead of a mth old baby!

We also brought u on your first outing last weekend. It was Tok Ma's neighbour's wedding n of course, u were the youngest guest of the day. It was actually more of a break for me rather than for u :) but u behaved well nonetheless, slept thru the whole way, and didnt budge untill mama pun dah puas tido, when we were back laterla..

U're getting closer to papa now and he has been a great help and getting better and better.
We just cant wait till ur first toothless smile.. we have been guessing that u were smiling on several occasion, only to find that u were actually doing ur 'big business'. Talking of 'big business', i captured u in action on video a couple of days ago, much to papa's dismay.. "Oi, gambar beyak pun nak amik ke?" It'll be a treasure, one day, it surely will be..

Sharing is caring

Dear Amir,

You are 22 days old today.. we have both passed the 20 days postnatal 'critical period'. Mama is now allowed to move up and down stairs and you are my.. getting bigger and bigger.

Yesterday Tok Ma put you on your tummy and u lift up ur head the whole way through just like a big boy. Which may not be a good thing since Papa is now worried about holding u in 'burping position' cos you like to turn and kick around. You have also picked up a preferance for Tok Ma.. cos you can really cry one minute when you're with me, or papa and completely behave the moment Tok Ma picks u up. I'm not sure if i like that antics of yours.. cos soon we're gonna go back to our own hse and u wont have Tok Ma to entertain you anymore, you know. At the moment, I would like to believe that it's the way I handle you that is not comfy enough and that my little boy has not develop such preferance yet..hmm..

As for bfeeding, you're really nice and obedient in the morning, that is after i've fed you half the bottle. Other than that, bfeeding time is really like a torture for you. Mama is still hanging on though...

Adik Airil has been with us for few days now. You now share the cot, bath, toiletteries and Tok Ma with him. Mama kinda like it cos I dont want you to be spoilt with all the attention. I hope that teaches you a lot about sharing so that you can have adiksss sooner.. : )

And Amir's an abang today..

Dear Amir,

No, mama hasnt conceived a new addition.

Uncle Jo sms late last nite, Mat Jo Jr has finally arrived and this means Amir is no more the youngest in Tok We's clan. At the moment mama is typing this, Tok Ma is in Putrajaya Hospital to visit your new gang - sorry mama still dont know his name yet.

Ok love, you are getting restless now.. so it's time for mama to sign off..

My little champion

Name : Amir Yusoff Jazmi

Date of born : 23 July 2007, 9.05 pm

Weight : 3.455 kg

Place of born : University Malaya Specialist Centre, KL

First impression : Papa's eyes, cheeks and lashes, Mama's nose, lips and complexion

Dear Amir,

Papa and Mama created this blog for you (and mama) to track your progress (and to keep mama sane throughout the course).

Amir, welcome to the world and we love you veryveryvery much. You complete us.