Half year mark

Dear Amir,

You are 6 months old now! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOY!
Pardon me for being this excited about it, but 6 months is quite a milestone huh? Not just a milestone for you but also for me as a newbie on this mommy track. So yeay to both of us!

OK..at 6 months old you are 7.8 kg and 65cm tall (that’s 2 weeks ago actually). You are thriving on your new solid diet now. We have started you on rice and vege and some fruits. I have recently started to cook your meals, but my first attempt at it, using chicken in your porridge, was not well anticipated by you. Hmmphh.. Putting it off for a while.. will retry later. Anyway, Tok Ma have also introduced you to fresh fruits – your favourite being banana and fuji apple. Everyday she will let you have your way with a slice of fruit and since you haven’t cut any tooth yet, it is quite a hardwork but VERY ENGAGING session for you – which normally ends with a scream when we take away the battered piece of fruit from you.

You have started to lift up your upper body quite frequently and for an extended time. But part behind tu, maybe a bit berat sikit.. hehe.. I don’t mind if it’s not that soon anyway.. cos the house is not quite prepared for that yet.. hehe. You love rolling from side to side and can move backward quite fast, but you still struggle to move forward though.

You are still your talkative self, especially when you are angry. Lately we noticed that you have started to mumble “Mamma’ when you are insisting on something. This normally happens at ridiculous hours in the morning, when you are restless in bed and want a hug and lullaby. I know it’s getting a bit mengada especially when you are ok sleeping on your own in your cot just a few weeks back, but when you say “Mamma!” I cant do anything else but succumb to all your request. The problem is, we are not even sure if the word carries any meaning to you or it’s just a regular coincident. But, naturally, I would like to think that you are endearingly calling for ME!

Socially speaking, you are still ok with strangers. Except for those who gets too excited or talked to you louder than you are used to. You LOVE to play hide n seek with Papa, something I prefer only to observe cos the game u guys play requires crawling discreetly around the bed and surprise you from its different side. Yeah, you really like the surprise element, and surprisingly, you like it better the louder it is.. So loud cries while crawling around the bed.. it’s too physically challenging la for me.. J. I normally resort to the 'counting game' - which u enjoyed as much, and does not cause a strain on my back.

So many things have progressed ever since you arrived. And this month, the 6th mth, I dare say that things have more or less settled down to a routine. Although all the excitement and anxiousness has kinda subsided (ie we no longer feel the crazy urge to buy something for u whenever we go out, get nervous everytime it’s bedtime knowing that our peaceful sleep is at your mercy, go frantic whenever you let out a little cry, get all tense thinking about how I’m unable to bfeed you), our love for you has only gotten stronger and stronger. It’s ‘almost’ like watching a happy ending to a movie, where loving couple look at each other while playing with their baby.. i know i know it sounds yucky but y’know..it’s happening to us!! Cliché’ and corny as it may sound, you made us complete dear..

Happy half year old Amir.

Current favourite pose!

Just because..

Dear Amir,

I'm writing now just because at this very moment I'm overwhelmed with love..

I dont think i can ever describe it with words but here I am anyway just to document how in love i am with you.

Well, Amir, thanks for the snuggle.. it gives me this good warm fuzzy feeling like nothing else can..

It makes the world seems like a hunky dory place..

It makes me feel secure.. funny eh?

The first, the last and the best of 2008, so far.

Dear Amir,

Finally, the agony is over and you're back sleeping by my side again. Yeay!!

My training in Cameron Highlands was definitely a memorable one. It was the first time i had to leave you for 4 consecutive nights and the last time i get to spend quality time with my 'best buddies' at work. And i think this will also be the last time ever I will be

- hiking up a hill, panting and wheezing

- lifted up by a group of 13 girls

- having someone stand on my shoulder while squatting down for 25 mins

- walking in the jungle alone

Leaving you for the first time was haaaaaaard.. Although I know i will be feeling sad the actual overpowering sadness only strucked me when i was preparing your stuff to bring over to Tok Ma's house (I had to send you a day earlier cos my bus departs very early the next day). By the time I lift u up from the cot, I was crying bersungguh2 and tersedu2 already. It was a powerful feeling that words cant describe. It is such a strong reminder that I am now a mom and instantly I got a hint of how Tok Ma must have felt everytime she sent one of us off to boarding school/college/abroad.. Ni baru hantar tido rumah Tok Ma.. which is your second home full of your favourite people, all eagerly waiting for your sleepover.

It wasnt too bad once i reached Cameron Highland.. although you and your Papa is constantly on my mind. But there was this one time in the coffee hse when I saw a couple with a baby, about your age.. I suddenly felt the instant pang to cry.. lucky the waitress interrupted and served my hot soup (hehehe). And every morning, when i see the rice porridge at the buffet spread, teringaaaaaaat sangat!

Anyway, despite the longing and all, i didnt manage to see you immediately as soon as I reached home last night. Papa said it'll be better if I go home shower and 'freshen' up first before meeting you cos I came all the way from up the hill, jungle pulak tu. But then I was also limping as a result of a (triple) fall i had to endure while trekking up the hill and I did not get proper sleep for the past few nights. So for your own welfare, I called up Tok Ma to extend your stay and we went back home without you in tow. But as expected, the moment I entered the room and saw your clothes and empty cot, i started crying again.. :P

Today I took mc to recuperate and spend my whole day with you. It was almost the best thing ever so far this year.. hehe. And to top it off, today, i almost nursed you to sleep! You were fooling around with Papa jsut now when suddenly you decided to turn to me and insisted on 'the twins'. Soon enough you were at it like a pro. I was shocked, but not as shocked as I was when i found that few drops of milk really did came out!! Aaaahh.. the sight of you nursing and looking at me while trying to stay awake..priceless..Now, that's definitely the best thing ever this year! Keep on working k boy?

Hijrah

(Delayed posting)

Dear Amir,

Today we celebrate the arrival of another new year - Ma'al Hijrah.

I have to admit, normally this does not carry any profound meaning to me. But being a mother now, everything is in different perspective ..

This morning, I woke up to your cuddles and the classic Ma'al Hijrah song..the song that is familiar to my generation even from the schooldays. How timely i think.. cos with the resignation, i am going through a 'hijrah' myself. Suddenly i got goosebumps listening to the song. Maybe it's just me.. but parting away from a conglomerate that has a very big part in developing me from just a school leaver into a person i am now is kinda big deal. But i'll save that for another post come my last day laterlah.

Anyway, few other small 'hijrah's has/is going to happen to you too

- We have (re)started you on solid! So far we've tried the usual bottled stuff but last week I introduced cereal (rice). Since your check up is due next week, i'm holding off other stuff first till i get clearance from your paed. So far so good.. bowel movement is excellent and you're sleeping better and take less frequent feeds at night...so all is well!

- Your car seat/infant carrier fits you (too) snugly now.. that we're thinking of upgrading the seat to a bigger one. In fact we will no longer be able to use the travel system since the car seat is out now. So my boy, you will be berhijrah from the snug infant carrier to the stroller soon. That also means you will be facing the world (and not us) whenever we're out and about..that dear, is a going to be an exciting thing for you.

- You have started to learn to sleep on your own in YOUR COT now. Just the other day, i left you gazing at Mr Pooh (the yellow smiling character on your cot bumper) and slowly dozing off by yourself in your cot and it wasnt until 2am that you woke up and 'insisted' to sleep with us. It's a long way to go but you seems ok and adjusting well to the new routine. Hope your white cot wont be white elephant for long.

New chapter

Dear XXXX,

Please accept this letter as my formal notice of resignation from XXXX effective 29 February 2008.

I have decided that it is time for me to pursue my ultimate aspiration to become an entrepreneur by joining my family business. As much as I am looking forward to this, it was not an easy decision given the great opportunities that this energetic and dynamic team has provided me here. Although it was for a short tenure, I have thoroughly enjoyed my experience here under your leadership.

I understand that our company policy requires a two-month notice but I would like to embark on this new venture at the earliest date possible. As such, I appreciate your assistance to grant this slightly earlier release. Please be assured that I will do all the necessary to assist in smooth transfers of my responsibility before my departure.

I wish both you and XXXXX continued success and I would like to thank you for having me as part of your team. I hope we will stay in touch as I begin this new chapter in my life.

Yours sincerely
(nikmummy)

Finally today, it's official. My only regret is that this letter is addressed to one of the best supervisor (leader) that I've ever had. Wateva it is, come wat may, i'm very grateful that I have this opportunity to realize my dream now. Anxious, but grateful no doubt.

New year new baby..

Dear Amir,

You've got another little bro now!

Muhammad Irfan, born on 1st Jan, at 9 am, marked a whole new beginning for mama's cousin Uncle Man. Wanted to blog about it earlier but tak sempat (something major is happening now..which warrant for another post another time).

We went to visit him on his bday itself. He looks adorable..

Actually the family was getting anxious about his birth cos it was approaching new year when Aunty Ina started to feel pain. On the other hand, mama and Uncle Jo was hoping that he arrive just a tad bit earlier cos then we can get to send all the three of you, (you, Airil and Irfan) to school together. (andcompare exam results?? i hope i wont be that kinda mom) Wateva it is we surely imagine that you guys will be a chaotic trio when you grow up together later.

The new kid on the block

For me, looking at Irfan breastfeeding effortlessly just 7 hours after his arrival did spark some jealousy la.. but more than anything else, i'm happy for Aunty Ina that she did not have to go down the same road i've been. Speaking of which, you are now very fond of the two twins.. sometime they replaced your pacifier during bedtime. They are still unproductive at the moment but who knows..

On another kinda related note, Papa is keen on another baby himself.. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......

I dont see myself having kids EVERY year but somehow now, that idea sinks well with me.

I think the most important thing now is you and if we're being fair to you if we decide to. I've got Papa's green light to discuss it with Tok Ma..and we'll see..Afterall we plan to have 5 and i hope to 'close shop' by 35. That way we'll have all of you finished or almost finishing uni when we're about to retire from work..insyaAllah if umur panjang.

5 before 35.. and i'm now 27.. let's do the math..

ARE WE CRAZY PEOPLE???