Happy New Year

Dear Amir,

We just got back from a neighbourhood bbq... a 'small' get together among neighbours around this area celebrating the end of 2007. Papa send us back and off he went again for karaoke(seriously.. right in the middle of the road..haha) and futsal (after bbq??), leaving charcoal-smelling you sound asleep hence giving me some me-time for yet another update for the day.

Well, it's 20 minutes before the year end.

Alhamdulillah, 2007 has been really great for me and our family. Your arrival in July complete us and now with a house to call our own, I cant ask for more. Having said that I hope 2008 will present us with greater things. I know for sure, another dream of mine will be fulfilled come January, insyaAllah.

May we be as healthy and blessed next year.

Hello 2008!

5 months and counting

Dear Amir,

You are now 5 months plus.. and this is your story.

You have outgrown your nitetime 'merengek' phase. Thank God! And simultaneously, your Papa has finally mastered the art of waking up instantenously to prepare your milk at nite just by having me say "Pa, susu". I finally understand the perks of bottlefeeding now. And on top f that you've learned to treasure sleep as much as I do and clicked in extra few hours before waking up in the morning.. so no more wide-eye Amir at 6 am in the morning. All these means I get to enjoy more sleep! Hurrayy!!

Your flavour of the month, ie. favourite person at the moment is Che' Su. She only needs to walk pass without even looking at you to make you smile, chuckle and jump in excitement and anticipation. Seriously, with waddling hands and all.. kesian mama tengok cos you look sooo 'syok sendiri' that way since Che' Su now is superbusy with her 'teenager' stuff like girly gossips, chatting, facebook etc. But when she feels like it and throw you some peek-a-boo.. you'll have the whole world hear how entertaining Che' Su is. Last week, the whole Anakku store in SACC Mall witnessed your record braking giggle, thanks to Che' Su.

Milk intake - you drink more now, more often. I think ever since we changed the nipple with bigger hole, you seem to enjoy feeding more.. duhh! We have been refraining ourselve from feeding you but it's getting tougher now since u will furiously 'munch' and drool if u see anyone eating. Yesterday, when we were in McD, you stared at this guy who was eating..and tried to immitate him. It was really funny but i pity the guy too cos despite smiling and laughing at you, i thk he got a little bit uneasy to enjoy his meal.

Your golek2 skill has improved tremendously. U spend more time on your tummy than you back. Our king size bed is now too small for your adventure. At nite, you command almost the whole area of the bed.. but usually save your feet (and kicking!) for my face and boobs (rasa nak mengamuk je Mama!). The cute thing is, before you fell asleep, you love to snuggle up to me and bury your face on my body. I took that opportunity to re-introduce you to 'the twins' that you use to hate so much. Some thing never change, you still hate them, even more when they dont produce anything anymore. But once you're awake, you'll find your way to be right next to Papa and rub his face almost like an attempt to wake him up. It may be coincident, but to me it seems more like a routine to you. Clever boy!

You look less and less like a baby now.. almost like a small boy now, with spikey hair and steady head.. Since you've grown so much (and it's the Year End Sale), Mama did some major shopping for your next round of clothing.. mainly those for 6-9mths (some fits perfectly though..hmmm)

The best bargain must be the jacket below, cost us only RM 22 (original price RM112) from Mothercare. Macho siot anak mama! (hey, i'm your mom.. allow me to be perasanla ye.)

Ready for 2008 New Year Party???

Hari Raya AidilAdha 2007

Dear Amir,

This year we celebrated raya haji in shah alam. All my siblings were around to celebrate raya together so we took the opportunity to take family pic. It was definitely a family affair, especially since Tok Su Loh and Tok Long's clan also joined us at Tok Pa's house to enjoy Tok Ma's infamous homemade nasi dagang.

The first family photo featuring the 3rd generation - you.

You were curiously looking at us, wondering what's happening..

Centre of attention

You took a liking to Tok Ayoh Loh, after having vomitted all over him

After feasting at Tok Ma's house, we went over to my friend, Aunty Hetz's house. It's been a while since we had such small and laid back do, so we had great time catching up and gossipping.. hehe. Aunty Hetz treated us to nasi minyak and nasi dagang, the Tganu version this time. I enjoyed it thoroughly especially when you were behaving rather well. I also brought over some cupcakes, just to share my newfound enjoyment in baking. It wasnt perfect but i think it's a good way to indulge in baking without overindulging in the end products. Most importantly your Papa is happy that i am really using the oven afterall.

The products of my therapeutic new hobby

Lastly, we went to Aunty Suzy's house in Bangi and again we had tons of food there.. imagine nasi minyak, lontong, soto and nasi dagang (again!). Needless to say, by the time we arrived home, we were so stuffed and tired...and that was our Raya.

Weekend and more

Dear Amir,

Yesterday Selangor cuti. So since i got some time to load photos.. here goes.. your weekend and yesterday in pictures

Last weekend, we went for your Prevenar jab, it's an optional one but we took it anyway.. biasala..paranoid me. Mama also asked about weaning you, doc said wait another mth to be safe la cos he said looking at your growth, should be ok but consequence could be allergy or obesity. OBESITY?? ok.. me, stopping right away. Taknak pisang berbuah dua kali.. hahah

Your first spoon of solid - Tok Ma said you really loved it!

The portion was not much so you resorted to licking the spoon clean. A food lover in the making? Guess not too soon, just a bit more ok dear?

Anyway, doc said you're a one handsome boy. He may be saying this to all his baby boys but that didnt stop to make me kembang.. haha. He said with this kinda look you'll be a celebrity someday. Haha.. From the hospital, we're off to The Gardens. Being broke, the trip was very challenging especially with the year end sale. Anyway, the Xmas deco made it all worth it. I like..

You were really excited looking at the tall decorated trees. They kept you really occupied

Me and you, after I made a fuss about having limited pics together, asyik2 dengan Papa je kan??

Taking a break at the nursery room, the lepak place for the lil dudes and babes - real happening spot

Then on Sunday, Tok Pa belanja seafood at Kuala Selangor. Everyone was there except Uncle Wan. We had A LOT of good food. Cheap good food. The last time we came here was when I crave for seafood six months ago. Mama only managed to take pic of some of the dishes only cos I was busy once all of them arrived.

Your poser uncles and their gfs, Aunty Gja and Aunty Farah.

The sponsors busy at what they do best - Butter Prawn, Lotus Leaf Fried Kerapu, Chilly Crab, Sotong Goreng Tepung, Asparagus Steam Siakap, SweetnSour Lala, Oyster Omelete, Blackpepper 'Buluh Shellfish'

Your Che' Su a.k.a the young, glamorous and over protective bibik

You were the focus point - before the dishes arrived

And here they are, well, the first batch. I was crazy busy later. Haha

This is wat happened to poor little you when were busy stuffing our face. Thanks for cooperating Mir!

Yesterday, I woke up relatively early and feel all domestic so I made your Papa's favourite nasi lemak. Your doc said one way to help delay weaning for you is not to eat in front of you. (Cos when we did, you become all drooly and start munching air..kesian anak mama) So instead of holding you on one side while eating as fast as I can, we spread a duvet across the living room and let you have a ball of time with your toys (yeah right) while we take our time savouring the home made breakfast. You were not happy about it.

There goes my living room. Need to get you a playpen soon

The usual after-breakfast ritual - Amirtime!

Boys gone topless

I also did some experimenting with Tok Pa SLR and produced this..

Kinda cool i think, except for the angle.. hahah..oh well, you're still a cutie nonetheless..

Little leader

Dear Amir,

I came across this just now and suddenly feel like i'm in twilight zone of some sort


This is the pregnancy test which i took that first confirmed that I was pregnant with you. The second line was very vague but I took the picture anyhow with a strong feeling that I am carrying a child and someday this pic will be meaningful.

I took the test during a training session in Equitorial Hotel Bangi. It was a training on discovering self as a leader, as a beginning of the talent pool leadership program I was chosen to go through. The program thought me a lot about myself and it was one of the most important phase in my life so far. What's more important is that I was going through it while carrying you inside me. My fellow program mates joked about you being born a natural leader, having to follow me to attend all the leadership trainings and endured late nites doing the special project required for the program. I hope those are all doas and it will turn out right. In fact, that is the reason why we chose to name you Amir (which means Leader).

I didnt notice this pic then or at the point we chose your name but note the tag with my name on it : THE LEADER IN YOU.
Literally speaking, what's that trying to tell?
Amin

Phobia of the milkmachine

Dear Amir,

Aunty Hetty wrote in her blog about how your friend, Yazid hates the stroller, that really reminded me of my ongoing headache with our breastfeeding struggle and the jealousy that results whenever I see moms nursing their babies, looking so content.. the hunky dory scene.

The case started naturally on the first day of your life. You were brought to me within an hour after you were born complying to the bfeeding-frenly hospital policy. We (mama, Tok Ma, the nurse) try to latch u on but u was very hesitant. Almost like shaking your head to say ‘No!’. Mama was worried. Then the nurse declared “Ala..you got inverted nip…” She then proceeds to pull and tug my shy equipment furiously as if it was a piece of stubborn play-doh. Tok Ma looked at me gave me the “What the toot!” look . I was horrified. And then she decided to start to tonyoh2 your head to my breast. Of course you were unhappy, retreated and gave up. Surprise2, the nurse aka the crazywoman also gave up and said something about my malfunction nips. BLAMING me for the ordeal that SHE caused both of us and Tok Ma. Then she told me to do something about it cos she doesn’t have time to handle me alone. Tok Ma just asked her to leave in fear that she will start playing with your fragile head again. I wanted to scream and immediately lodge a complain then but thought it was just my hormones taking over. Writing about it now I can still feel my blood simmer, so I guess it was a genuine feeling and she deserved to be terminated lah! (Did I mention, she has long finger nails and it was poking your cheeks while she tried to ‘help’ you to my breast). Anyway, that’s that. After the incident, we tried with other nurses which were waaaaaaaaaaay more gentle and professional. They were also unsuccessful and by then you and I (and my nips) were exhausted, physically and emotionally.

Ok it’s clear that the memory of my first attempt to bfeed u still haunt me vividly. We tried and tried again when we got you home later. Needless to say Mama has succumbed to bottle feeding in between the tries, so there goes my Mistake No 1. But what a (new) mom to do? I can’t leave you crying in hunger can I?

Many schools of thoughts shared their tips with me and I followed each and every of them. Bought few gadgets to help ‘enhance’ my equipment. Keep on shoving the malfunction thingy to you. The crazy thing is that you will start to wriggle and cry once it reaches your mouth. So forget about proper latching on la, positioning la.. it is as though you have some sort of phobia of the boobies the moment they came in contact with you. And when I managed to latch on (occasionally, usually when u're half concious) you will suddenly become wide eyed and angry even though you were almost dozing off before it.

My milk supply was another issue. Ironically it came quite fast, unlike some moms who have to wait for it to arrive. Then it deteriorates at a mind-blowing rate, even though I was pumping to keep the supply. I guess it's because the rightful consumer is not working at it on his ownla.. Mama ate all sorts of milk enhancing food and even got the makcik urut to do her stuff. Her diagnosis was.. “takde rezeki.. " Arrghh tensionnya..Here comes my Mistake No 2 : Being depressed and angry at myself for such a disability. Of course, it decreased my milk supply even further.

I also resorted to a great support group consisting of mainly experienced friends and family. Aunty Hetty suggested I see a lactation consultant but I didn’t. And that was Mistake No 3. Till today I just couldn’t understand and cant explained why on earth I did not do it.

Well, anyway Amir, despite all the struggle and failures, you have grown to be a healthy 4 mths old now. I guess that is all that matters. I’m also slowly coming to terms with the fact that I cant breastfeed, probably because I really cant or because I didn’t do all that is necessary (refer Mistake No 3).

Nevertheless, Aunty Hetty recently suggested relactating and having read through articles on this, I think it is possible and wanna give it a try. I’ve started the introduction phase.. something that involves familiarizing you to the (inexistent) nips. Much to my delight, you have outgrown your phobia and beginning to suck (although it doesn’t result in any output cos I’m now all dried up) Sometimes the sucking is followed by a smirk and a let-me-go screams and pushing.. Sometime u smiled and chuckled which made me feel a bit weird. Think you got them confused with a toy/teether now.

This time Mama will try all necessary to make it work. In fact, I’ll set an appointment with the consultant soon. Hope this’ll give us second chance at bfeeding.. and that I wont turn green of jealousy looking at bfeeding moms again.

"Say what??? We're trying again??"

A wedding and two malls

Dear Amir,

It's Monday and Mama is jaded.. heh, wat else is new?

So much for weekend-full of stuff..

On Saturday, we went on a short road trip to Port Dickson to attend a wedding of a relative. It was a convoy of 4 cars which includes your Tok, An, Tok Nek, granduncle and grandauntie, uncles and aunties and your three restless cousins :) It was scorching hot Saturday, not a good day to attend a wedding in PD. Nonetheless, you pulled a happy face and was delighted at every ohh and ahh ppl were making at u. Excited sgt! We noticed that you took a strong liking to Pakcik, probably because he looks a lot like Papa - the much leaner and clean shaven version..haha

After the wedding, your tired and whiney cousins forced the whole convoy to go to the beach at freaking 2.30pm. Mama chose the antisocial route and stayed in the airconditioned car with you cos you were already soundly asleep by then, plus I hate to expose you to the harsh sun and UV. From afar I saw how happy your cousins, especially Abg Aiman, were. Mak Long told me to be prepared for such days in the future :P (the whiney part, not the happy part)

Returning from PD, everyone followed us back to our house. This was the first time our house accomodated that many (hungry) people at once. It was chaotic. Good type of chaos though especially for you cos you were thoroughly entertained by all of them. Your cousins are beginning to find you entertaining too. They covered you with kisses and laughed out loud when they hear you giggle in response. Abg Amirul, who's barely 2 yrs old also played peek-a-boo with you and boy, you were really into it. It was heart-melting scenelah.

Tok Njang and family stayed over and left for Cameron Highland very early in the morning on Sunday. So Sunday was a bright and early day for us. We later went to Bangsar cos Mama got an alumni committee meeting to attend. While waiting, you took a stroll around Bangsar Village and Bangsar Park with Papa. Bangsar was no place for us lah Amir.. everything on sale seems...'out of reach' though Mama almost bought you the cute little denim jeans and Papa was itching on the cute little pyjama sets. You were behaving well through out, making no fuss, sitting happily in your stroller untill Mama and Papa decided to have a quiet time reading our mags in Starbucks - that was when you decided to buat perangai and refused to sit and start blowing bubbles all over my shirt.

Hmm... looking forward to next weekend.. :P