Happy 53rd Bday Ma!

Dear Amir,

Today is 29th Aug.. means yesterday was 28th Aug, Tok Ma's 53rd birthday.

But i totally missed it! Didnt really forget, but i was SOO CONVINCED that yesterday was 27th instead

The funny thing is

- I planned to sms your uncles n Che Su today to remind them to call Tok Ma

- I wish someone else Happy Belated Birthday on my facebook yesterday!

- I called her few times yesterday but talked about something else .. d'ohh!!

- Yesterday, I was aware that today is going to be 29th

- I wrote a few official letters, dating them 27th aug

- I was at AirAsia website, checking some dates for travel

It was 11.50pm and I was getting ready to sleep when i realised. Quickly wrote her an sms, cos it was too late to call. They were in Bali, and had a outrageously early flight to catch this morning. Somehow, the sms couldnt get through. I tried calling, my hp batt died on me. Try to charge, it wouldnt on.. and it has gone haywire..since i ... err.. dropped it earlier. Papa was out, brought his hp along. So i slept with the biggest guilt, feeling like the biggest loser ever.

Anyway, that was my story. It appears that I was the only one who didnt wish her.. :(

Happy Birthday Ma!

I know this came late and I've no excuse for it except for .. err.. pregnesia?

I hope you had a good time with Pa in Bali. You totally deserved it.

Thank you for all you have done for us, the highly dependant lazybums.

Hugs n kisses!

Here's my two fav pics of her, a dotting mother and the supergranny (pictured with you and Airel at few weeks old)

13 mths old 'abang'

Dear Amir,

Earlier this week you turned 13 months.
Last month saw a lot of things happening.. that i forgot to post about your 12 mths milestone altogether! Alhamdulillah, this month things has started to settle down a bit.

You are now a proud owner of 2 upper and 2 lower teeth. Finally! They showed up around your 1st birthday and I can see a few more trying to make appearance soon. I think these 4 teeth cutting is one of the main reason that you resisted food most of last month. And I guess cos you were mostly sick anyway. But last week, things changed dramatically. You ate like a champ..perhaps getting used to the new 'tools' that you just got. Your menu has also expanded overnight since you eat what we eat. You'll bang the dining table to demand food and will smack your lips in the cutest way when you see food on the table. And with every feed, you'll clap happily with a satisfactory smile.

You are quite eager to talk.. or at least am very vocal now. Besides mama and papa, the only thing you can say now is 'bard' (bird), 'bah' (boy), 'baaa' (bye) 'arrkk' (allahuakhbar) 'aoowww' (hello) haha. Others mostly will be uhhh and aaahhh.. which is quite challenging to comprehend. Anyway, you can also comprehend a lot of things now. You will come to me and lay on my arms when i say 'Sleep mama' at your bedtime, you'll tug your clothes when i open the bathroom door and say 'Mandi', say 'Allahuakhbar' and you'll throw your hand in air and sujud while trying hard to balance yourself.. (cute!). 'Sayang mama' will see you coming near me and press your forehead against mine (you have your own way of expressing love huh?). And when you think you've achieved something (like putting two blocks together, ate a mouthfull of food, climb down your toybike by yourself) you'll clap your hand and sit and bang the floor with full excitement.

You received a lot of toys for your birthday. And promptly enough, you have learned to play with them and not just bite of throw them around. One of the toys that you got was this Pooh bear which is about your size. You love him to pieces and will hug him whenever he's in sight. He's the same height when both of you are seated. When we play with Pooh, i usually use the babytalk tone. This is where you learn to use high pitch voice when talking to something cute.. like a doll or a cat or fish in tank. So cute and smart at the same time.

You're also getting more active now. You love climbing up and down small tables, the stairs, your toycar/bike, me.. etc. You love playing chase with balls, small cars etc. Basically staying put to play is a thing in the past now. One thing that i find cute yet quite disturbing is the fact that you love playing with my handbag. Putting in over our shoulder and walking about.. sometimes waving around. Sigh... i'll try not to take it too seriously. You're just a toddler exploring and immitating things huh?

Yesterday we went for your 12th mth check up.. which was yeah, a month late. You weigh 10.5kg now and is a few cm taller than ur last check up(I cant remember exactly!). You caused quite a scene cos you couldnt stop walking and babbling, giggling by yourself. Loving ALL the attention huh??

Anyway, we saw 'little adik' yesterday. I saw the heartbeat! Poor thing Papa couldnt concentrate cos you were around too.

So 'little abang', we shall see what awaits us in coming month and beyond huh. I think it's going to be exciting..insyaAllah

Love you loads dear..

When the going gets tough

Dear Amir,

So you're going to be an abang soon, insyaAllah.

I guess you knew it before anyone else, cos you started acting up weird, extraextra clingy, refusing anyone else but me since a few weeks before I found out. The gang at Tok Ma's house has already started to call you abang.. some in sarcastic tone, suggesting to me it's quite ridiculous for you to be an abang at this tender age. What they forgot to see is that all of them (us, my siblings) are around 2 years age difference anyway. I guess because you're currently THE baby of the house so it's quite hard to digest.

Actually, frankly speaking, it even feel surreal to me still. And I havent been to any check up yet since the last time we went to the doc to confirm. Am waiting for this fever/cough to fully subside. For some reason i'm very nervous about meeting the doc this time. What if we suddenly find out that there are twins there?? Quite honestly, that's the first thing i thought when i found out i'm a pregger. Funny! I dont believe it's a sign. I never trusted my mothers instinct. Cos i have none.. hmpphh..

Anyway, Tok Ma has been unwell since last week. She had to stay in the hospital for few days but am now back at home. But she's still not herself, very weak and in need of lots and lots of rest. It's nothing specific, but she's sickly most of the times. We're rearranging a few routines around the house to allow her the best of rest she can get. For a start, we're moving everything from the home office to the main office so that she cant get access to any work anymore.. and yeah, so that officematters will stop bothering her. Like it or not, i'll be in charge now. So Uncle Wan and I will be relocating. We have also divided chores around the house so that she doesnt have to do much housework. And that's the easy part.

Now comes the real issue (at least to me), taking care of you. I'll be working from the real office now, which is no place for a boy like you. Well, we can bring you along but it'll be such a pity for you huh? Leaving you with Tok Ma will be taxing on her, especially now that you have acquired more climbing and acrobatic skills. So we are looking for a nursery nearby the office to place you, at least for half day session. Now typing that makes me gulp. I'm such a softie when it comes to matters like this. Spoilt mother! We are also looking for a new bibik now cos i guess it's time. Oh, i didnt mention that Tok Ma's bibik left for good a few weeks ago. So you see the trail of event? Bibik left, bday party without bibik, tokma me and you demam, tok ma hospitalised, (we found out i'm pregnant), on panic search for nursery & new bibik for me (and Tok Ma)..

I think I had it too easy all these while. That the thought of sending you off to a nursery feels like a big major huge deal. I feel ashamed of myself, i mean take a look around.. it's just a normal routine for other working mothers. Anyway, apart from this nursery issue, am still coming to terms with other matters too like being the one in charge (sort of) at the office, being the responsible firstborn girl and take care of tokma's house (when ours are more often than not, a total mess) and going through these changes while my body is growing another child.

Am still calm. In fact i think i'm cool (Again, except for the nursery part, i'll be a major drama on that part) Weird jugak. Especially when i feel and kind of sure that this pregnancy has made me into a total emo wreck! More details later.

Anyway, i'll just take it a day at a time. Breath in breath out. Folic acid in. Kiss Amir. Ensure Tok Ma rests and takes her med. Hug Papa. Kiss Amir. Hug Amir. Blog... : )

Amir, do behave ok. We really2 need you to this time.

Three

Dear Amir,

Today Papa&Mama turned 3. Three wonderful years together. Three years of enjoying each others company. Three years of looking past each others mistakes. Three years of celebrating each others good days. Three years of lending each others shoulder to cry on. Three years of driving each others insane. Three wonderful years together.

Us on THE day..

Our first pic as a family of three.. a few weeks shy of Papa&Mama turning 2.

As a couple, we dont celebrate Valentines. I think somewhere along the way, we made a promise to totally ignore Valentines and only celebrate our anniversary instead. For our first anniversary, we stayed at a hotel right smack in KL, went for dinner and then have a stroll in KL golden triangle. I was in my confinement when we celebrated our 2nd anniversary. Tok Ma gave us the green light to sneak out for a lunch date together. So we did. And black pepper steak it was.. cos black pepper wat.. good for my condition then : )

Today, we are staying home. I'm going to cook simple dinner soon, like any other days. I'm still not my 100% healthwise. You are still coughing and sneezing too. So it's a no-go. No celebration for today. I feel slightly upset. But i guess it's ok. Afterall, there are manymanymany more years to celebrate.. insyaAllah. And we have recently received the best news, the best gift we can get for a third year anniversary : )

Happy Anniversary sayang. me love you so much.

Our precious 'gift' from God

The Parties - the full report

Dear Amir,

So your first birthday was well celebrated.. twice in fact, even though both wasnt on the actual date.

I initally wanted to hold just one at our home, for family, frens and neighbours since we havent had any housewarming or makan2 at our home since we move in. But Tok Ma offered to hold one at her house for the relatives, cos realistically speaking, our house cant fit all of them pun. And i'm not about the hire a tent for your bday -that would be too grand in my book.. hehe.

So two birthday parties there were.

We celebrated the first one at Tok Ma, attended by most of my uncles, aunties and cousins. It was a breakfast party themed 'polkadots and stripes'. The menu was nasi kerabu, satay, sandwiches and a few other little bites. We bought you a cake from Secret Recipe and I bakes some cupcakes to accompany it.

Tok Ma went all out to stick to the theme. From the party packs to the jelly balls. We also embellished your cake with M&Ms for the polka dot effect. Even your cupcakes has small M&M dots on it.. hehe. Everyone was also asked to come dressed in stripes or polka dots.

Tok Pa prepared a pool for your friends to dip in. It was officiated by you, in your 'birthday suit', thanks to over excited Tok Pa. Then Airel and Irfan joined in for a splash. (i didnt take any pic-will get it from someone else). When the three VIP left, all the other older kids went in, in wateva they were wearing.. haha. You fell asleep after the dip and only wake up towards the end of the party to open your presents.

I had a ball of time on my own catching up with cousins and having endless plates of satay. My cousin, Kak Noni was back from UK and joined the party with her family. It was our first time meeting little Aliyah.. she's soo... adorable and cheeky. She even helped me organize my Totshop stuff for display... Ohh.. i took the opportunity to showcase (and sell) some of my Totshop stuff that day ..hehe..

The second party was last Saturday, at our home. This round we invited friends and neighbours only. Tok Ma cooked nasi dagang and I prepared spaghetti and some desserts. We got you a cake again, cos wat's a birthday without a cake huh?? I also didnt managed to resist the customary 'Number 1' candle. Mama yg excited lebih. More about it later.

Most of my friends turned up. All with their spouse, most with little ones and 2 of them with noticably pregnant bellies. How time flies..

We also invited the neighbourhood friends, mostly Papa's futsal buddies. I wish I had more time to chat with each and everyone.. catch up with friends and get to know some of my neighbours better. But i guess I was too busy playing host and pestering everyone to eat and eat.. hehe. Food was abundant that the whole futsal gang came back later that nite for supper and had shisha session till 2am. Yeah, your Papa had a party on his own too!

We had candle blowing session for both parties but you cried during both.

We noticed that you are scared of the candle flame. Now i know why you always cry during birthdays (Yazid's birthday, my fren's birthday). It doesnt help that both the sessions were also at your crankiest, sleepiest time. So we had some hillarious photos of you crying in front of the cake (and me trying to keep cool in the background..hehe)

Anyway, I'm happy with both the parties. I got to meet family and great friends and make new ones while you got tons of toys and books to go by for the next 3 years. (I'm keeping some until you're a little older). I must say i'm still recuperatin from last Saturday do but it was all worth it. Afterall, Papa and I thinks that maybe this birthday party celebration huha will only happen after the next 3 years.. hahah

yes.. i'm that tired but it's all good.

Happy Birthday my dear Amir.. hope you had great fun in your own way and werent too disturbed by the candle. : )

We love you so much!

p/s : Thanks Hetz for some of the pics

Down

Dear Amir,

At this moment, I could have followed you and Papa for your daily stroll around the neighbourhood, but no. I chose to lay here in bed and vegetate in front of the PC. Afterall, this is my only me-time that i get.

But i think i've made a wrong choice today. Should have followed you guys for some sun and fun.

I've been pretty down lately. Not perpetual depression of sort but i'm consistently sick, tired and frustrated that i'm sick and always tired. Both of us were feverish since last few weeks, it's been going on and on, some days are worst than most. Only few are good days.

Today, it went on a different level. You were just getting better and started to act more active than usual (making up for lost time!). For the THIRD time today, I found you playing with ciggy buts and the ashtray, just a few mins after i 'rescued' you from 'jumping' off the tv table in uncle wan's room. It doesnt help that i'm on the verge of having asthma and was wheezing since morning. I screamed on top of my voice and pulled you away from the ashtray. Then i saw your face. The stunt 'what did i do' face. And then you smirk. Then i cried like a little girl / madwoman, and called Papa. When Papa arrived, we were already asleep like a baby, both after a good cry.

I'm losing it. Damn these hormones..

Here's hoping we'll be as happy again...

p/s: I wish to put up a happier post - your bday party for instant, but internet sucks these days, i cant upload pics without cursing profusely. Again, damn these hormones, and Streamyx..

Anti climax post : be warned!

Dear Amir,

Sorry for the long silence. Was tied up with few things which mainly includes entertaining my super cheeky and manja 1 year old you. Also, we got new stuff coming up our way.. big stuff for us all. That has kept me occupied, mentally, emotionally, physically.. and that's my excuse this time..

I still owe Uncle Yeh a 'report' on your birthday bash. Unfortunately, I dont think i have the will to go through all the pics and upload them yet. Heheh.. so wait Uncle Yeh must. Anyway, your birthday bash was GRREAAT! Tok Ma really went all out to throw you a perfect party. Homecooked authentic meals, partypack/gifts for everyone (including parents of the kids)... she even hang the party deco herself! I thk her enthusiasm must have rubbed on to Tok Pa, who went out the nite before the party to buy an inflatable pool to add more splashing fun the next day. Oklah, with those preview.. i shall leave it for another post ok?

We went back to KB recently for Uncle Sham's wedding and some serious gastronomic indulgence. Again, me too lazy for photos.. maybe next time when i feel like it.. heh

This is becoming an anti climax post isnt it? Hahah

OOh.. i got one good news... your tooth.. it's finally budding out!!
and from the look of it, they looked as if they're RUSHING out.. a few of them simultaneously.
Havent attempted on the parents ultimate challenge - taking a pic of the tooth bud. But shall get to it soon.

Aaanyway, here comes some bad news..Now that you've turned one, I'm determine to wean you off our bed and your pacifier.
HELP needed. Moms out there.. please..help me out