Dear Amir,
After 6 mths of being a duo, we decided that it was time to add on to our family. At first it was exciting, the prospect of having my own child, our own family. But after monthsss trying to no avail and instead finding out that other ppl around me are getting pregnant one after another (including all the celebrity, Gwen, TomKat, Bradelina!), my hope ran thin. I thought that my worst nightmare ie, not being able to get pregnant, is going to be a real thing.
Then there was this twist of event in my life. I enrolled into this leadership program within my company and found myself on job rotation every 6 mths. I was much more HAPPIER. It kept me off worrying about getting pregnant. In fact, I was almost done hoping and wishing and just literally tawakal and go on enjoying life in other aspect. At the same time, I grew more positive and instead of weeping whenever the monthly 'fren' arrived, I made an appointment with the notorious doc to help us out. It was a long waiting list.
We never made it to the appointment cos two weeks after it was set, I was late. This time I wasnt as anxious, waited a little longer to buy the test (cos God knows how I've wasted money on those tests prematurely). But one Sunday morning, i took it casually, only to find a miserable faint second line. I almost didnt want to show it to your Papa in fear of false hope. But I'm not the kind who can keep it to myself even for 5 seconds, heh! So we went to the clinic to confirm.
Then the second round of ordeal start. We went from clinic to clinic for almost 2 weeks but none of the tests showed a positive result. One of the doc even told me not to be too hopeful. I think she was even implying that i'm too desperate to the point of being pathetic.. i thinklah. It hurts. I demanded for a blood test, but they said it was unnecessary. Then we went for scans,one after another, at different clinics. Nada.. nil. Weirdly, at the same time, I did my own test, and it produces a positive result. I grew confident then. Then this one Indian doc nearby our hse suggested that perhaps we need a more invasive procedure to confirm it. But again, we were asked to wait for a week till he's able to perform it. At this point, Papa told me not to hope so much, and as a consolation, we went for brief holiday : )
A week later, fresh from the holiday, we went to the clinic. The doc did the procedure and it was then that we first met you. After 9 months of hopes and prayers. Finally I saw my little 'bean' holding on for dear life. What a beautiful sight. And the rest is history.
Moral of the story
- Let nature takes its course, dont be too hard on yourself when things doesnt turn out as fast as you want it to be
- Dont worry, be happy - Tok Ma said it could be cos I was (noticeably) happy that I was finally able to conceive!
3 comments:
what a beautiful entry :)
ekekeke, kalau tak baca betul2 ni bleh salah faham ni kan?
ugh, lambatnya bday amir! cepat la cepat la!
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