Sad

Dear Amir,

It's my last day of work today. Next week, I'll be finishing off my leaves (or so I hope). May be coming in and out to settle administrative stuff.

It is definitely a busy day but since it's quite a significant day, I think I must blog this down.

This morning, as usual, we had our weekly update meeting. Being in a dept of 8 guys (I'm the only girl, besides the secretary) our dept meeting has always been very 'loud', entertaining and full of exhanges of vulgar words. And as disturbing as it may seems, I actually enjoy it. In fact, I like these ppl a lot. Although the amount of work that we do sometimes is ridiculous (hence the vulgar words), they managed to make work casual and fun. These are the work hard and play hard kinda people and for that i feel that I belong ; )

Sadly, all good things somehow will come to an end and so the meeting this morning will be my last entertaining meeting with them. It feels surreal that I'm finally at this juncture. I wouldnt claim that this is a sacrifice I made to spend more time with you. Cos honestly, that was not the ultimate reason. And this has been something I ALWAYS wanted to do rather than a sacrifice. But of course having you makes this a clearer and more firm decision and by doing this I will definitely get to spend more time with you. But going into own business is not going to be a bed of roses. Hell, i expect it to be very testing indeed.

At this point, all I can say is as confident as I am that I'll embrace my ambition with a stride, I am actually a nervous wreck now. I'm nervous and I'm actually sad that i'm finally leaving this employment (hey, what do you know huh??)

There I said it, I'm sad. Although work has managed to keep me away from the melancholic feeling lately, there's no escaping it today.

But i trust things will eventually be ok. This evening, when I go back and see you greet me at the door, I will feel ok. When I see you smile and smell your hair, I know this decision will make all the difference (for me and you). And like other worries and sadness that you helped erased, this too shall pass.

Good luck me!