August retrospectively

Dear Amir,

August was a whirlwind month for us so it's expectedly quiet in here. There's the takeover of a big project in K. Selangor, Pak Ngah's wedding in Endau and Alor Setar, then our short trip to Penang, our low key uncelebrated 4th anniversary, Tok Ma's and Che' Su's bday, Tok Ma & Tok Pa's uncelebrated 30th anniversary, Tok Ma's admission to hospital (again), 5 tenders to complete and company account submission.

I guess yang lain2 tu not a big deal but when Tok Ma was admitted that day due to hypertension mcm biasala everything went haywire (ie work, home, social, emotional, physical.. etc) cos we never learn our lesson the last time she was hospitalised and everyone is still patheheticly dependant on her like a baby. It's frustrating and i feel sad for her. But she has stabilised now and I am determine to not let her go back there, if only I can control what goes on in her overactive worrywart brain and of course how others act/say around her.

So Ramadhan is here, halfway through the course already. Only managed to go for terawikh once..heh. Out the first week (timing baikk punya.. ceh), 2nd week saw us working like zombies then I had stiff neck that went for 5 days, resulting in me crying like a baby 4 nites in a row due to excruciating throbbing pain whenever i lay my head on the pillow (Dahla bulan puasa, tido interrupted.. cannot properly sleep some more). We have been break fasting at Tok Ma's every day weekdays at her request cos she needs the help to clear up after dinner.. and it's fun that way too. Weekends are solely for Papa where i grant him his (menu) wish semampu mungkin. And we have rice for sahur... the complete rice with lauk pauk deal cos your dear Kedahan Papa just cant live without his fix of rice. So far manageable so I dont mind the cooking and stuff. In fact I dont really mind having less sleep nowadays.. perhaps cos Adik has established stable sleeping pattern at nite so i dont feel the rush to clock in hours of sleep as soon as she doze off kot. And i've learned to just let go and have my time now - give adik to kakak, let papa play with you and then sleep like a queen.. haha!

So Adik is 5 months old now. Unlike when it was your time, I didnt document her every single firsts for the last 5 months . Unlike when it was your time, this blog is not filled with what she did every single day or week. It's kinda sad but kinda expectedla kan.One thing about having a blog to jot down your development is that it helps to recall your progress, as benchmark for Adik's. So far, Adik is developing superbly. She's an expert at turning, either side. She can turn back to tummy to back. She can move her body backwards and in circle. She can lift up her upper body on both her hands. She's also starting to lift up her butt. Overall her progress is ok, alhamdulillah.. and she's also one bundle of happiness, always.

She cant keep still when we hold her up, she's the bouncing, jumping kinda baby, so unlike her calm and content brother. In fact, in terms of physique, she's lean and long (leggy lady) not round and stocky like you were.

She puts everything in her mouth and she drools a lot too. Now i know why they make supersmall bibs for small babies like her - never have to use them with you then. She love sucking on her fingers. She's showing sign that she's ready to wean. Smacking her lips when she smell food. Sucking on her thumb vigorously when she see us eat. I think I'll wean her off veryvery soon. Just waiting for her eczema to clear a bit before trying to feed her so that I can clearly identify if there's any allergy reaction. Paed diagnosed her with acute eczema, she cant be exposed to hot, stuffy places too long else her face'll develop red spots that looks like scalding marks. In fact, your uncles endearingly call her Si Tompok (my bros la ni, kerja sapa lagi?). Paed gave me some cream to put on those spots but it doesnt seem to work so we brought her to skin specialist who prescribed her with more cream. Frankly, i hate putting on those medic on her skin.. but who am i to wait it out and hope everything is fine without doing anything. Oh well, usaha and hope for the best.. the experts should know wat they're doing.

Oh, her fav person on this universe now is YOU. Nampak kelibat je she will chuckle and start jumping around. It melts my heart over and over again when I hear her gedik giggles playing with you. Yes, she sounds very gedik when she's chuckling/giggling.. or maybe i'm not used to a baby girl's sound cos boy, your voice were faar different back then.. very mm.. boyish? haha.. Apart from the giggles, she vocalise a lot, she likes to babble/shriek using her high pitch voice.. very 'makcik'-like. Just like you, she 'nags' herself to sleep.. (babble not stop when i cradle and sing lullaby for her)

As for you.. you've grown to become my best little chatterbox buddy ever. Your vocab has multiply tremendously and your words are now illustrated with full expression, so it's great fun to chat with you now. It's also much much easier to communicate with you since we can reason out with you now. You like to use expressive phrases like 'pun', 'lah','kot','amboi (my fav). You love stories, will ask us to tell you a particular story again and again then repeat the story for us in your own words.. total cuteness. But as usual, you prefer stories of your surrounding, ppl that you know, things that you like doing.. rather than stories from books which u cant relate to. You are also getting smarter, able to process logic and link between one info an another. You saw a premature baby on Nat Geo documentary the other day and exclaimed.. Baby sakit.. papa dia hisap rokok (referring to the 'baby' pic on a ciggy pack). When you see a tent, you'll say Uncle kawin.. banyak telorr.. (referring to bunga telur..)

As a big bro, you're still loving, helpful and protective. It's amazing looking such kind of big bro character in a young fella like you. You will help me to accompany Adik when she's fussing for milk while i'm making some for her. You'll say things like "Adik dont cry, Abang adeee.. ". When I ask you to hold the bottle for her, you will chat while feeding her. "Yaya nak susu? Mama buat, Amir egang (pegang)". And yes, when she cry and I'm at a dead end to make her stop, you'll contribute your own words like, "Dont cry Yaya, shhh.. notty ni.. notty Yaya." But of course, there are instances when you will show the siblings rivalry normalcy like fighting over Tok Ma's attention (rarely happen with me though, i wonder why), taking her toys away, insisting to sleep on her side of the bed. So i guess everything is normal.. better than expected perhaps.