Saturday, March 28, 2009

Pain

Dear Amir,
Today i'm literally immobile. Woke up feeling very very heavy. By the time we reached Tok Ma's house I almost couldnt get out of the car. My pelvic floor feel veryvery sore and even the slightest movement caused me excruciating pain. Laid down and sit most of the time but it does not help, in fact it made things worse cos getting up later is so sakit. Tried to 'walk it off' but my every step is like a mission impossible. Even recuperating from childbirth is waaaaaaayy better than this.
One thing about being in this state is that i missed a lot of your everyday stuff. Like bathing you, chasing, wrestling, even cleaning up after your mess and No 2. I actually miss changing your diapers! How desperate is that?? In fact, as much as I enjoy my me-time when kakak brings you out to the playground, I actually feel bad that i dont make that extra effort to join. Maybe i'm just lembikla kot. But it's not that I dont care. Kakak reported that you have started to push and shout at some kids at the playground. But she also said that it's normally cos you're provoked, crossed or treated the same way by them. I dont know how to react to it, in a way i think it's pretty normal - a normal development in fact, sense of individuality.. heh! I'm one of those mom who cant stand looking at a kid being nasty to you unnecessarily. But i'm also a rational person la, so i never snap back. Now, i guess you have figured out your own defense mechanism. Afterall you're still very cordial with kids who plays with you on the same term.
Anyway, so much for a day of nothing but tolerating pain. At least i get to change the layout of this blog. And that makes me feel better in some weird way.. hope Yaya will accept that as a welcoming gesture AND decide to finally be here..

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Countdown to Adik - Week 39

Dear Amir,

I am 39 weeks pregnant with adik today. Yaya, as you have affetionately named her, is still curling peacefully inside. Tried to coax her to arrive within these past few days, or today, like right after our check up, but nope. It's very comfy inside i guess. You should know, you were there till 3 days before your EDD too right.

Anyway, the checkup went fine. Doc said Yaya is small, but not too small. (Small relative to you and the fact that Papa and I are not small ppl..hehe). Doc said her head is not fully engage yet, meaning it has not descend to the lowest position possible. So he booked me for another appointment next week, during which we will schedule an induction, if need be in the 41st-42nd week. Sigh...

Patting Yaya to sleep - your daily routine now

As usual, after check up, we went merendek. We were thinking of installing the much awaited wardrobe in the master bedroom when i'm away at Tok Ma's during confinement, so off we went to Ikea to get an idea. I had Ikea's salmon.. which was on my shrinking "to eat" list. Bought my CIMA study materials. Trying to squeeze in some study time during confinementla konon. My exam's in May, so i dont have much choice anyway. We also bought two books for your, one with pics of farm stuff and another was full of pictures of cranes, trucks and all the heavy vehicles. As expected, you preferred the book with the cranes and all, almost totally neglecting the other one. In fact, you 'read' and gaze at the cranes to sleep just now.

So much for 'done with jalan2 shopping2'. I thought i would deliver before I had another chance. But today kinda restarted the mood lah. Oh, we actually went to One Utama before the check up since we have some time to kill before in between some errand and the doc's appointment. So that's 4 malls, OU, Ikea, Ikano and Curve in less than a day. (Am hoping this will expedite things, but adik seems to enjoy the 'ride' je. She behaved very well and didnt even torment my bladder the whole way) I promised myself to go back for some nice undies this weekend, if i havent delivered. Incentive kinda thing, so that my mind wont be fixed on giving birth...but buying undies instead.. weee..

By the way, speaking of 'to eat' list, here's the collection for the past 9 mths.. and this is one of the reason why I hope i'm done with this pregnancy as soon as possible.. very hazardous .. hehe


  1. Kebab (Westend, Brisbane) - i lost hope on this one
  2. Tony Roma's ribs - done
  3. California Pizza Kitchen's artichoke dips - done, was also thoroughly enjoyed by you
  4. Seafood Kuala Selangor - done
  5. Ikea's salmon - done
  6. Cuppacake cupcakes - done
  7. Super thick sinful lasagne - done
  8. Ikan patin masak gulai tempoyak - done
  9. Endless servings of thin crust Domino's pizza - done
  10. Kanna nasi daun pisang - done
  11. A&W waffle with ice cream - done
  12. Laksa johor - done tapi tak best, and now dah tak nak
  13. Vietnamese beef noodle
  14. Endless servings of sushi
  15. Baby borneo drink
I know where to get the vietnamese beef noodle and sushi. Just a matter of when and with whom, since both are not Papa's palate. But the last one, the baby borneo drink.. i remember stocking it in my locker during my boarding school days. Now they're nowhere to be found. Those similar drinks available are nowhere close since they are too sweet most of the time. How ah? Anyone got any clue?

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Countdown to Adik - Week 38

Dear Adik,
Hi dear? How are things inside there? Is it still very comfy cos you dont seem to budge from where you are.
All of us including your Abg Amir is anxiously waiting for your arrival now dear. All of us aimed a date and so far, all our guesses except for Tok Ma's has come and gone. My XXth guess would be tomorrow, when we go for our routine check up and asked to check in immediately. It's more of my wishful thinking more than anything. Getting harder not to think about this since the physical reminder is too obvious.. and i've been losing sleep over the anticipation.
Dont get me wrong. I love having you all snug and protected inside there. I bet i'm gonna miss the feeling as soon as you enter the world. But it's taking a huge toll on me now dear. And i dont want to end this pregnancy a sore desperado wishing to get out of this condition as soon as yesterday. As of now, i'm still hanging on, though every single movement is causing me pain down south. Like seriously. I'm so unbelievably unfit, almost to the state of immobile. Well, i can still move around la, but not without risking OUCH! and AAAHH! here n there enough to scare those around me. It's pretty scary even to me cos I wasnt like this when i was carrying your Abg Amir at full term. And he is a whole 0.5 kilo heavier. Sigh..
Anyway, you know what? All the prep for your arrival is done. ALL. Earlier, I kinda procastinated on a few things intentionally cos I dont want the anxiety to creep in as soon as everything is done. But we have got my customised bengkung sorted out. Your cribs and our confinement 'suite' is all ready (Thanks Uncle Cho for lending us your nice cosy room). Workwise, i've delegated mostly everything already and my ongoing project that was due early April, is already completed ahead of schedule. We also had 2 separate sessions of sembahyang hajat for both of us. Yesterday, it was among Tok Pa's neighbours. The ladies commented on how low my tummy looked now. Some said it looks protruding, a girl definitely. Are you?
Ok dear, so, shall we make it tomorrow then? Just take your time ok. What's important is both of us are ready and you'll arrive a healthy bundle. Anyway, just in case it wasnt clear enough, I am SO ready now. Cant wait to see you.

Monday, March 16, 2009

19 going on 20

Dear Amir,

You're 19 mths no, turning 20 in exactly a week's time. No, i havent forgotten, i'm just plain lazy and too tired at times.

It's been a while since I wrote your detailed progress. But as any mother would agree it is hard to really pin down every single thing when you kids seem to develop at lightning speed. Anyway, today i feel like it. So here goes.

At 19 months now, you are beginning to throw tantrums when your demand is not met. I must say it's very rare though and it's not the embarassing kind, perhaps even cute to a certain extent. Normally, you'd throw wateva in your hand (your pacifier la normally), then sit/lay down on the floor and keep still. Silent protestla konon. You did it quite a handful of time last few weeks around the malls that we went to resulting in a collection of your protest pics in my phone cam. You've also started to be physical now, beating our legs when you're angry or excessively shy towards something. Your only two victim now is Tok Ma and me, regardless of the actual person you are angry with. The other day, when I ignore your beating, you proceed to pull my hair! Haih!


As for your food intake, you've established a strong preferance for some type of food. You absolutely love half boil egg with toast (following the kopitiam trend huh?), any forms of noodle, pasta, carrots and grapes. You also have a habit of not mixing different texture together. So we have to separate the rice and lauk so that you wont spit it out. Your magic food is karipap. You recognise them and will go Pap! Pap! when you see one. On some days, you actually asked for pap from Tok Ma for tea and can finish up to 3 of them at one go. You can also say Dap! Dap! (sedap) when you like something. Consequently, you take less of your milk and since last week, you've skipped most nite feedings, prefering to drink more at one go just before bedtime and another feed just before it's time to wake. Thank God, how timely! At least we dont have to juggle time between your feeding and adik's in wee hours of the morning soon. And another progress towards being a big bro is that you're able to drink from a cup by yourself without much mess. I cant say the same about your food though, but since you insist to feed yourself, we just let you and try not to fret too much about the mess lah.

You've also become more active now, as any toddler should. Climbing about, shouting and shrieking when you're excited. You love climbing and chilling on our recliner, complete with finger tapping on knees all.. You also like to play rough, like wrestling with Papa a lot, like to play shooting with uncle Yeh (where you go bang!bang! with your fingers, and uncle yeh respond back - thanks to him, i dont get to uphold the violent-free games) I can say you're smarter now too. Finding ways to solve 'your problems' like using your golf driver/cloth hanger to fetch a ball under the bed, using a stool to climb up the bed. Using the chair to climb up the table to get to the ultimate toy - the fax machine. The other day we couldnt find you anywhere so Tok Ma went upstairs and found you sitting at the office chair, tapping on the mouse. That means you climb up the stairs and the chair all by yourself. Sakit jantung!

Your vocab has expanded tremendously too. You can basically parrot every single thing we say, but mostly the very last syllable of the sentence la.. You havent managed to string two words together but that does not stop you from talking continuously. You also like to askquestions, using you one syllable words and a question tone at the end. Tok Pa has already complained that you're such a bising boy. Ironically he used to complain about your slow progress (according to him lah) in talking.

Wat else is there huh? Oh yeah, your craze now is cranes, big lorries, water fountains and babies.
Pantang nampak long tall thing in the sky, you'll shout Yeinn!Yeinn!. The other day you went crazy in KLCC when you saw the fountain in the garden... that's Ayii! Ayii! (air) to you. Lorry is Loyee.. so our ride to anywhere is never quiet cos God knows how many lorries there are on the road these days. Now as for babies.. you absolutelylove everything associated to them. Small tiny clothes, baby cots, pics of babies, pics of preggy tummy.. You're also veryvery anal about keeping things closed/shut. Like the bottle cap, the door, the tupperware, oh and my tshirt whenever i lay down exposing my glorious tummy. Oh yeah, you've also understand the concept of fear now, and the 'thing' you are most fearful of now is Uncle Yeh (with his leg all wrapped up post-operation recently) and sound of thunder.

Well, i told you i'm in the mood today! I'm glad i took the time to write this cos now it made me realised even more that you're such a 'big guy' already. In fact i can already see a glimpse of the real personality you'll establish as a person later. As for me, i'd say this is another exciting (and mind bloggling) phase for us since you're slowly beginning to become more inquisitive and analytical. I remember telling my friend how i fear the day when you start to ask what's that mama? why this mama? how that mama? but why mama?.. But as it is starting now, i think it's gonna be fun. I'm going to have a buddy2 soon instead of a little clueless boy.
Amir, mama loves you little buddy!











Saturday, March 14, 2009

Note to self

Dear Amir,
I'm getting tired of this blog outlook. I think it needs another facelift..
And that's my excuse for not being here as often as I want to. I know i missed your 19th month update. I'm 37 weeks pregnant now, and there's so much to share but i havent got around to do that either. Including this morning's false alarm when adik hardly move since last nite and sent me on panic frenzy.. only to find out that perhaps she ws in deep slumber due to the nice lazy weather (suggested by doc!)
I was thinking of migrating to another address.. and do up the labelling nicely.
At the rate things are going, i hope this post will not be followed by a long hiatus and then an announcement of the arrival of ... . I dont mind the arrival part.. the sooner the better actually. But i thought i'd organise things here a little, as a welcoming gesture.. :)

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Countdown to little adik - Week 36

Dear Amir,

I'm glad I can start this post with a happier note now. It was a good day.

Papa and I went for my 36th week check up today. Doc said baby is not that big, which he also said is a good thing. Head already engaged in position and the amniotic fluid surrounding her has diminish a little, a normal sign that she's ready to see us soon. Her heartbeat is strong and the umbilical cord is in good position. He also ran a few test to see if i'm well nourished (isnt it obvious??) and concluded that everything is ok so much so that we would only need to see him after the next 3 weeks (no need for that weekly thingy and let things progress on its own), that is if we dont see him in the ward earlier. He also reminded us to go to the hospital as soon as I start feeling the pain, since No 2 usually doesnt delay. Heh.. that's a relieve yet at the same time nervewrecking!

With the good news, we then proceeded to MidValley/The Gardens as planned. It was a date. We planned to watch a movie and then have a good quiet dinner. But not before some serious shopping..hehe. Today, I almost completed the shopping list. And the good thing is all the stuff that i wanted was on sale.. (some for further discount!) So I went crazy on pink stuff. pink blanket, pink hooded towel, pink cot sheet, pink rompers...finally sorted out all your stuff and noticed that mostly is either too worn out or too boyish for her to wear/use. This made me realised that I dont shop that much or unnecessarily and would really lenjan the stuff to its worth. On the other hand, Papa was also happy with his very rare purchase of some apparels.

Wanted to buy this cos it makes me look so pregnant instead of 'suspiciously pregnant or veryfat??' - but the vneck plunge till no end :p ( It's veryvery hard to find pregnancy clothes in my size, I liked this so much that i just got to do one of these self photography thingy as a keepsake!)

This week, i'm beginning to feel random sharp pain whenever I walk. Sometimes it comes as a sudden shocks, enough to make ppl around me realised that I was in pain. It happened several time just now (although not enough to come in between me and those bargains!) Sleeping is not comfortable, regardless of the position. And when i do get in the most tolerable sleeping position, it's time to hit the toilet again. My backache is also getting more serious which is bound to happen la now that i've gained full 10 kg. Unlike earlier last month, I have not been experiencing leg cramps in the middle of the nite anymore. But my toes have started to swell whenever i sit or stand for too long. Which is ok la comparative to the ever kembang feet i got when i was pregnant with you. And since this is nearing the end, i think i might also skipped the karpel tunnel thingy (the irritating pain in the wrist) that i suffered when i was pregnant with you.

Anyway, we decided to skip movie and have dinner at Tony Roma's since i've been craving for its ribs. Over the ribs and steak dinner, we reflected on how lucky we are to be able to afford this kind of lifestyle. Prenatal check up during office hour, no queue watsoever. Shopping on weekdays away from the weekend crowds. Expensive dinner when our hearts desire. All this while having peace of mind that you are being taken care of by the most trustworthy ppl, who love you as much as we do (and do not charge overtime for those extended extra hours!) Then we ponder on little adik's name again. And also where our money had gone to if we did not shop as much or as often as we thought we did. :p

Quite taken by the new hooded towel, meant for adik but Pooh got to officiate it and you just wouldnt let go of the new Bebeh!

It's a good day indeed. And we're still pondering..

Monday, March 2, 2009

Lost it

Dear Amir,
I'm at Tok Ma's house today, trying to complete the backlogs before my maternity leave. Really not in mood go to office and climb those stairs.. penat. Afterall all i need is my handphone, laptop and internet to get going.
Am feeling really down and upset at the moment. Never felt this overpowering hormonal thingy ever since the start of this pregnancy..or even in previous pregnancy. Hari ni rasa nak marah je. I dunno wat sparked it. I sleep well last nite. Had a wonderful weekend, tiring maybe, but enjoyable nonetheless. Went to Yazid's 2nd bday party (had my fix of nasi dagang tganu) and on Sunday we attended Papa's college reunion brunch which was also cool. Did lots of shopping in the span of the last 3 days, for little adik and ME.. something i've never done since ages. Really, i cant remember the last time i bought anything desirable for me (except for those time that it's a necessity, like a spoilt handphone, new undies.. etc)
This morning, you were extra clingy and cried a few rounds while asking me to carry you. And within minutes, i lost control and shouted like a madwoman. Not towards you but just a loud wail, like a madwoman. I came back to my senses when kakak came and nicely coaxed you to go feed the fish with her. And here i am now, feeling bllerrgghh! (i dont even have a word for it)
What's wrong with me? I had an easy pregnancy - comparatively speaking. And there's you, the ever obedient boy except on some rare days. My work is veryvery flexible and on really bad days, i can just delegate everything and sleep if i wanted to. So why am i feeling down like this? Maybe cos when you cried this morning and asked me to carry you, i cant. I really cant cos it's just impossible now. Sighh..
Little adik, i hope i'll see you as soon as it is safe.. which is next week, the 37th week. I dont think it's conducive to stay inside there anymore, cos i may be passing this negative feeling to you. I hope you'll come out a happy n content baby, just like your brother. I'll see you soon girl. And Amir, sorry that you have to see that ugly (and emberassing) side of me just now. It wasnt either one of u.. it's just me.. and my hormones.